Are we abroad yet?

February 23, 2020


More →

Overheard at TI

Birthday girl: "If I don’t get an iPad Pro for my birthday I’m literally going to kill myself."

Overheard at the Grad College

Scientific junior: “That’s all phlegm is: throat cum”

Overheard at TI

Junior girl: “Stockholm Syndrome sounds like my ideal love story.”

Overheard in Wilcox

Girl, to gagging friend: “I swear, if you vomit on this table, we are no longer friends.”

Overheard at Frist

Newly Initiated TI Sophomore, on the phone: “I can't wait to bring you. Dad, do you want to go out? Like to a party?”

Overheard outside East Pyne

Ecstatic girl, yelling: “YES!!! I'm going to FRANCE this summer!!! And I'm STILL A VIRGIN!!!”

Overheard in a Rocky Courtyard

Freshman: “Oh, college tours [pause]. Y'all wish.”

Overheard before Dinner

Lit-bro: "Crying of Lot 49 and Blood Meridian: two books about vibing."

Overheard in the Solarium

Terrace girl, to three dudes talking about music: "You're all jacking yourselves off right now."

Overheard at a pregame

Obvious cry for help: "In my first semester I would go to my car because it was my only private space and just scream."

Overheard in Wilson

Horny white Bernie Bro: “If you told me I wasn't going to hook up with anyone for the next ten years, but Bernie was going to get elected, I'd for sure do it.”

Overheard at a pregame

Freshman boy: "I wish I was the person my Instagram said I was."

Overheard outside East Pyne

Guy: “It’s good to see you.”
Other Guy: “Thanks. I wish I could say the same.”

Overheard at dinner

Former Terrace bro: “I'm trying to get into David Foster Wallace.”

Overheard in dorm common room

Flustered freshman: “Laundry is the only simple thing in my life right now.”

Overheard in Firestone, discussing post-grad plans

Senior girl #1: "Yeah, I don't want to live out of my parents' basement."
Senior girl #2: "Your parents made you live in the basement!?"

Overheard at Two Articles

Drunk Crew Freshman: "Oh my god. I can't wait to bicker Cloister."

Overheard in Marquand

Former design editor of the Nass to former EIC: “I was in love with him pedagogically.”