November 13, 2016


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Overheard in Wilf

Clinton voter from red state, looking at model shot of Melania Trump: Honestly, you shouldn't be able to cum to a picture of the First Lady.

Overheard on Piazza

Anonymous student: Trump is winning I'm scared can we have extra office hours this week
International preceptor: I'm an Arab...I'll see if I can set up extra office hours over Skype/ Hangouts

Overheard in Cloister

Lightweight rower: I bet if you asked him a question about credit default swaps, he would jizz his pants.

Overhead on iMessage

Quasi-woke sophomore to his skeptical significant other: Bread rolls not gender rolls (sic)!!!

Overheard in Patton

WASP man: I had 27 Patagonias in high school, I was the king of Patagonias...And in boarding school that means a lot.

Overheard in New South

BH sophomore, to BH senior: I have your romper!
BH senior, to BH sophomore: I have your passport!

Overheard hiking

Sophomore Jew: I will never grab the ass of a more famous rabbi.

Overheard in rapt discussion

ORFE major: Cory in the House was the precursor to Obama getting elected.

Overheard outside Witherspoon

Male student: "I hate Halloween. Spooky is not my aesthetic."

Overheard during fall break

Sophomore to newly engaged couple: Enjoy your marriage!

Overheard during fall break

Leftist: Strippers have it so hard. They can't even unionize.

Overheard on TI GroupMe

Junior female: Anyone know where I could get some leftover "I voted" stickers? Trying to find some for nipple pasties.

Overheard on Witherspoon St

Legacy: My dad says that when he dies, he wants me to cremate him and sprinkle his ashes from the second floor of Cottage.

Overheard Bed-Stuy

Lit bro: Ulysses is a little like salvia—tough to get through, but fun to process afterwards.

Overheard in Virginia

20 year old male, longingly: I love youth soccer

Overheard in Frist

Pi Phi, on phone: Oh, hello? Same Pi Phi: Oh...still ringing.

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore woman, gesturing to Pi Phi in Van Cleef necklace: Oh, are those the Pi Phi necklaces?

Overheard in Firestone

Sophomore COS major: Wow, also drank a whole Chemex and I'm super jittery and just expelled everything from inside of me.
Same sophomore, later: I feel empty and afraid.