April 5, 2013


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Overheard during initiations


Overheard in Foulke

Theta: Can you eat matzah during Passover?

Overheard in Frist

Preppy girl: No one at Lawrenceville even wore Sperrys until I started wearing them.

Overheard in German class

French sophomore: You haven’t been to Europe. You don’t know what expensive means.

Overheard on campus

Zealous parent (to tour guide): Could you point out where these meal club homes are, so we can tour them?

Overheard in Rocky Dining Hall

Girl, on matzah: I think the dining hall made a mistake and ordered too many of those really gross crackers...They’re like everywhere!

Overheard in Rocky Dining Hall

Preview host: Is it appropriate to make a human centipede out of your prefrosh?

Overheard in Spelman

St. A’s sophomore: I just wanted to ironically be in a frat.

Overheard in the package room

Distraught girl: My parents have never mailed me anything, and on the day I start my diet, they mail me TEN POUNDS OF CANDY.

Overheard in America

Dude wearing cowboy hat: Stop invoking civil rights. It’s not a thing.

Overheard in Butler

RCA, to sophomore: Why are you bringing alcohol into my sub-free bulding?
Sophomore: Fuck.

Overheard at dinner

Ivy senior, on famous Chinese human rights activist: Was he a cool dude?
Tower senior, having just dined with said activist: Well, he looks like a scrub, ’cause he’s blind.

Overheard en route to a pregame

Sophomore girl 1: I wish I had dressed for the theme.
Sophomore girl 2: Honestly when you’re drunk nobody notices. All people notice is fat.

Overheard outside Whitman

Sophomore dude, looking at a
ruined Ivy pass: I know freshman girls who would still blow you for it.

Overheard in Whitman

Rower: What did that cook want?
Guy in cool shirt: He wanted to know where I got my shirt and I was like, “Well, it’s my dad’s shirt.” And he was like, “Where’d your dad get it?” And I told him Guatemala. And he was like, “Yeah, I know, I’m from Guatemala, my parents make those shirts.”

Overheard in Forbes

Concerned citizen: You do irresponsible things that could get you arrested, like urinating on people.
TI sophomore: But that’s in TI, so it’s okay.

Overheard in a Sheraton

Overheard in a Sheraton
Yo-Yo Ma, to Nass staffer: Are you in an EATING CLUB?

Overheard in Frist

Frazzled Ivy senior: My tux is back in the city. I’m going to look like a middle class fool for Titanic night.