The JUUL-ian Street Library

November 20, 2021

The JUUL-ian Street Library: Full Design

In the final issue of our forty-third volume, the Nass looks for a lost bike, watches chalk disappear, and gets jazzy in the chapel.


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Overheard in a Uber

Enlightened Junior: I've never been so dead inside. I'll never be the same.

Overheard inside Witherspoon Hall

Frustrated LGBT senior: I’ve googled “how to dress lesbian” at least 14 times this week.

Overheard during Study Group

STEM major trying to make a point: I'm a neuro-transmitter and he's a voltage gated ion channel receptor. Do you understand?

English Major: *exasperated* no.

Overheard In the CJL Dining Hall

Sophomore SJW: Do you think the Princeton Committee on Palestine has merch?

Overheard on Elm St. on a Monday evening

Passerby: And I straight up Stanford Prison Experimented these kids.

Overheard in Frist

Writer: I feel like Freud would have a lot to say about this.

Other writer: I don't know much about Freud.

Writer: Me neither.

Overheard during a hookup:

Boob enthusiast: You have nice boobs. They make so many fun shapes!

Overheard at Coffee Club

Coffee Club employee: We can't have that many people saying that our drinks are shit.

Overheard in Brown

Philosophical White Man: I feel like white people name their children really long names to have power over them. Like knowing the name of a demon.

Overheard after Vacation

Rested Junior on pullout couch: In the least homosexual way possible, sleeping with you was amazing.

Overheard after an unofficial tour

Tourist to unofficial tour guides: I would tip you, but I can't, so I'm going to walk away now.

Overheard during a Revenge Plot

Voice of Reason: But what do you gain?

Vengeful girl-boss: It's about taking down the patriarchy!

Overheard over a microwaved brownie

Club officer: They should call you guys the Real Housewives of Terrace.

Woman: No, they shouldn't.

Context: Overheard at Frist

Frosh, having just awoken from a nap: Bro, Princeton is easy. Don't you know we have a 98% graduation rate?

Overheard on Discord

Despairing Physics Major after being asked for help on P-Set: Inject yourself with self loathing and you might be able to do it.