October 6, 2011


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Overheard in Common Room:

Freshman: Where are you from?
Woody Woo Junior: Pakistan.
Freshman: Oh, is that in India?

Overheard in Whitman:

Intime Sophomore, pointing at guy wearing Oakland A’s hat: Why do A’s members have to flaunt that they’re in A’s?

Overheard in Frist:

Girl in boots: My passion is man-aging natural disasters, you know, like Katrina. I hope I can one day become the head of FEMA; that’s my dream.

Overheard in PHI lecture:

Professor, walking toward door: I’m about to say stupid stuff, so I have to make sure the door is closed.

Overheard on Nassau Street:

Girl: I want to get a summer house there, but just for the regatta.

Overheard near Nunokawa:

Professor Nunokawa: What if I did die. Wouldn’t that be terrible. There would be a memorial service. Shirley would speak.

Overheard in Art History:

Freshman: irregardless of pronunciation motifs of delineation and irregardless of how it activates senses it evokes provocative thoughts of malignant growths

Overheard at Columbia game:

Boy, while Columbia band was playing: It sounds like zits popping.

Overheard in Little:

Kappa junior: Let’s be honest, Kappa is the Hufflepuff of sororities.

Overheard in Patton:

Jewish kid: She looked like she was punched in the face ... by a beehive.

Overheard on McCosh Walk:

Girl: I was watching the movie and I recognized some of the dancers.
Guy: What movie?
Girl:We had to watch an 80-minute movie on the origins of krumping.

Overheard on the Street:

Sophomore Pi Phi, walking to rush: I cannot smile for three hours right now.

Overheard on McCosh Walk:

Prince staffer, to Nass editor-in-chief: Do you want to be managing editor of the Prince?

Overheard in Ivy bathroom:

Stout bro, bitching about music: Anybody who plays two Avicii songs in a row deserves to eat my butthole dry.

Overheard in Firestone:

Checkout girl, smiling, looking pretty: Are you a senior?
Senior male: Yeah.
Checkout girl, smiling, looking pretty: Are you sad?

Overheard in Whitman D-Hall:

[Athlete walks by]
Asian freshman girl: He’s wearing an Ivy Club Sweatshirt! He just got so much dreamier! I told you he’d be in a good club!
[3 minutes later]
Which sorority do you think sleeps with the hottest guys?