Mommy Issue

February 26, 2023

Mommy Issue: Full Design

This week, the Nass tries new hobbies, new words, and new noises.

The Definitive List of Who (or What [or Even Where]) is Mother

Chloë Sevigny Liza Minelli Parker Posey Email Charles Grodin My actual mom’s instagram Red shoes Pirating movies Saugerties, NY  Arby’s  Laura Palmer Tim Heidecker This one shirt I have  Ampersands  The number 28  Apple music (you heard me)  Philip Roth … Read More


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Overheard at Sakrid Coffee Karaoke Night

Aggressively stereotypical Ivy sophomore: "Don't you love it? This feels like Yale."

Overheard during grind session

Helpful friend 1: You should become a freelancer

Struggling writer: I would rather eat my own eyes

Helpful friend 2: That’s a graphic image. Something… different

Overheard in Spelman

Psych sophomore: When I was taking psych stats–

Cynical senior: What do they teach you in that? P-hacking?

Overheard while reading verbatims

Conspiracy theorist: Where are all the people who were born on 9/11. How come I’ve never met one?

Overheard at disappointing birthday party

Birthday girl: I feel like of all things, cookies are the easiest to be made by hand

Overheard in mediocre dining hall

Vegetarian: No one does texture like vegetables.

Overheard in the theater

Person in power: This is your murder lighting.

Overheard among artists

Queer speculator: What is the color of gay? What do you need me to do to make it gayer?

Realistic friend: It’s too happy.

Overheard before her girlfriend’s entrepreneurship class

Enthusiastic girlfriend: This is your sigma male moment!

Overheard post-exam

Distracted student: How can I slay in these conditions?

Overheard at an impromptu salon

Aspiring president: I want to be normal in a way that appeals to nursing unions and Irish Catholics.

Aspiring campaign manager: You’re already normal. For god's sake, you wear khakis!

Overheard at Forbes Dinner

New College West inhabitant: "I'm loving these alternative dining halls."

Overheard at Coffee Club

Friend on couch: "Of these three books, which one did Sally Rooney write…Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, or Normal People?"

Barista tamping espresso: "Well, it's not Jane Eyre."

Overheard in Firestone

Ivy bro: “I’ve been spending way too much money on OnlyFans recently.”