Forward March

March 4, 2010

“Well, Daring, I Can’t Go—”

Joanna Newsom must be the most enigmatically fascinating figure in indie music today. Though she’s shrouded in a barely-tangible sense of cultured innocence—her closeness with her astrophysicist and musician siblings, her compositions and lyricism refined by academia yet bejeweled with … Read More

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Getting In, Selling Out

Since the turn of the twentieth century, admission into America’s most elite colleges has always been a straightforward matter of selling out. The days when pure wit garnered fresh high school graduates passage into the academic aristocracy have faded like … Read More

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“But You May Stay Here, With Me”

Oscar Hyde having provided you, in his nefariously multifarious style, with all the juicy historical context you could possibly desire [see prior article], I find myself relieved of the standard duty to explain that “Newsom has two parents” and “Newsom … Read More

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Dorm Life 101

This past summer, before even stepping foot on Nassau Street, saying bye to my parents, or buying my twin extra-long dorm sheets at Bed Bath and Beyond, I got my first peek into to college life. This peek was through … Read More

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The New Jersey Dream

In Philip Roth’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1998 novel _American Pastoral_, his protagonist, a Jew named Seymour Levov who goes by the nickname “the Swede,” sees his life turned upside down when his daughter turns terrorist and blows up a post office. … Read More

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On “Girl Pain”

Almost four years ago I attended a symposium featuring rapper Talib Kweli that focused on hip-hop’s responsibility to the community at large. What sticks out in my mind is a joke told by Mr. Talib (lyrics stick to your ribs). … Read More

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R.I.P. Hummer

It is with tremendous sadness that I report on the passing of a great American hero. On February 26, 2010, the Hummer passed away in Sichuan Tengzheng’s botched attempt to purchase the brand from General Motors.

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Letter from the Editors 3/4

In celebration of the arrival of March, we’re bringing you a standard issue of the Nassau Weekly.

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The Reconcilables

Late last month, WPRB News sat down with General David Petraeus, commander of United States Central Command and recent recipient of Princeton’s James Madison Medal, to discuss military issues in the Middle East, from the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Chancellor Green Cafe

Professor, to student: I think your thesis is funny, because it's not as academically successful but it's more . . . useful.

Overheard in Rocky dining hall

Diner: The worst part about my cousin coming out of the closet was how long it took. She was talking to me for like five hours.

Overheard in Terrace

Member, in reference to Nassau Weekly stacks stored in the club: Let's get some wire from Home Depot, bind up the stacks and make some new lounge furniture out of them.

Overheard in GEO103

Student: I'm sick of earthquakes happening while I'm taking "Natural Disasters."

Overheard on Prospect Avenue

Guy: Damn it, she's got a dude with her.
Girl: That guy is gay.
Guy: Gay like homosexual, or gay like retarded?