No Hard Feelings

March 25, 2010

Three Cheers for Queering the Census

Next Monday, March 29, Princeton University will begin distributing Census forms to Frist Center mailboxes for students who live on campus. Students will also find another envelope in their mailbox that week, containing a short letter and a pink sticker … Read More

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“Never Travel Far, Without a Little Big Star”

Big Star are sacred to me – a summer devotional, everything that John Cusack and Emilio Estevez could never be for me, a holy confessor and mentor. I would be surprised if that other late auteur of American adolescence, John … Read More

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Community Service, Reimagined

Our Art Therapy Breakout trip, led by sophomores Arielle Sandor and Sojung Yi, started not in Washington D.C. but along the way in Baltimore. The first day, before our group had even established strong ties, we found ourselves at the … Read More

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Community Service, Reimagined

Most people think Boulder is a ski-town. They are probably right. But in fifty years, I would not be surprised to hear that most people think Boulder is the Shangri-La of the fifty states. Can you imagine Lhasa transfigured into … Read More

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Human-Bone Scythes, Poleaxes, Death and Boobs

As you might have guessed, the _Nassau Weekly_ is full of a bunch of super-nerds who are really into books and junk. To give you an indication of how into books they are, consider this: Every week, they have their … Read More

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This Shall Be the Greatest NBA Finals of All Time

Rumor has it that at the Nass, there is a gap in the otherwise omniscient knowledge of the staff, and that that gap is called “sports.” Not so, ladies and gentlemen. Let me tell you a thing or two about … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Prospect Garden

Senior, melodramatically: I think I like to fetishize victimhood. [Pause.] That's why I was a vegan for like a week.

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Chef: Guess where you are?
Girl Scout, eagerly: Albert Einstein's funeral home!

Overheard outside Firestone

P-Safe Officer 1 to P-Safe Officer 2: Have you seen that movie _Over My Dead Body_ with Paul Rudd?

Overheard in Barnegat, NJ

Librarian, teaching child about the Internet: I don't like Wikipedia because you can just go in and say, "This guy is purple!"

Overheard in ENG351

Professor: But, putting aside the question of whether Clinton is blacker than Obama...

Overheard walking into “Magic of Numbers” midterm

Bro: Yo, I brought my TI-89 but it's total overkill. It's like shooting a bird with a fucking RPG.

Overheard at the Apple Genius Bar

Genius: We could fix that for you, definitely. It will cost you an arm and a leg, if that matters to you.

Overheard in front of bank of urinals in Frist

Bro: What you need to do is, get someone who doesn't suck at singing and make yourself an acoustic version of the Robot Unicorn Attack Song.

Overheard near Whig-Clio

Drunk Bro: Dude, you don't understand how loud you are when you're drunk. It's like you've got caps lock on. Like, AHHH, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY COAT? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?