The toy’s full name was Slapstick: An Authentic Comedy Toy for the Whole Family!TM, Slapstick himself being a kind of flesh-colored kidney-bean-shaped almost-humanoid character with googly eyeballs and kind of oozy chunky rubbery skin (which was in fact made of … Read More
While brainstorming what to give up for Lent, my friend Spencer suggested foregoing facial hair. This would probably be an entirely inconsequential Lenten sacrifice for the vast majority of the male population. For a stubborn, barely post-pubescent boy such as myself, however, this is no easy endeavor. For some inscrutable reason, and to the consternation of friends and family, I persist in growing absolutely disgusting facial hair.
First Voice Message: Today, Friday, the 3rd, 4:27 a.m. — The sounds of Manhattan circa 3 a.m., most noticeably an earnestly diegetic purring. — Hey, man, I know it’s been awhile. — Palpable, nay, precocious, slurring — I’m calling to … Read More
Jen is president of Princeton Young Democrats and Woody Woo Major, ’18. She interned for an assistant to the assistant of a staffer in Elizabeth Warren’s Massachusetts office, is “with her,” metaphorically and literally; she wears a locket with Hilary’s face in it at all times.
I don’t like it when you use my Amazon account. My recommendations are getting stranger and stranger and I know it’s because of you. You should remember that it tells me which items are bought together—and, honestly, you have some explaining to do.
To the males who inhabit my building, I pose the following question: Seriously? When I arrived in the good old 08540 so many months ago, I had long since learned what I understand to be the laws–facts, perhaps, is a … Read More
Regardless of what Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama tell you, it looks like the race for the White House is turning out to be quite the familiar affair. Of course, the fact that the Democratic nominee will either be a … Read More
