“‘Ere we come, ‘ere we come, ‘ere we come to eat some snacks!” That’s the song you sing as you roll your way to the feeding tubes, you glutinous masses of orca-fat-fattened lard-balls! And what do you have to say for yourselves? Nothing, because your mouths are blocked up by the pendulous weight of your sagging cheeks and you have forgotten all words except “more” and “a little bit more” and “perhaps just another dollop.”
Dear Readers, This has not been a good month for The Daily Princetonian. Honestly, we almost feel bad for them. There was the PUDS fiasco, the misreporting of college council budgets, and, just this week, they ran a story with … Read More
What is Cap Love? How can I improve my relationship with my mother? what’s ur dick like? You’re Jewish but your name is Christopher… is that weird for you? Have you ever hooked up with a student? Be honest. Which … Read More
1. Graph humor 2. “Does America Have Too Many Nurses or Not Enough?”: _The Slatest_ 3. Visual learners 4. Trail blazers 5. People who are culturally insensitive to my opinions 6. The disgusting cover letter and resume I sent to … Read More
