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Born to Jog

The world’s longest-running tribute band and how they are.

by staff on May 23, 2012March 17, 2013

A Better Course Guide

The Nass’s classes.

by staff on November 14, 2014November 16, 2014

The 26th Annual Nass 100

1) Whatever ancient crime forever embittered the staff of Thai Village.
2) The Princeton Tiger’s obsession with third floor bicker. You guys are in Tower, assholes.
3) People who, when you tell them that snot tastes better than earwax, say “Yuck” and pretend they’ve tasted neither.

by staff on September 21, 2005March 17, 2013

121 Reasons Why I Have to Attend a Different Precept

Can’t listen to the kid next to me clear his throat again.

by staff on November 7, 2013July 20, 2017

Prefrosh Portraits

They’re coming.

by staff on April 25, 2012March 17, 2013

Porn for the Blind

In our modern age, technology has made it so that the visually impaired are able to partake in many of the same activities as anyone else. Text-to-speech programs, which narrate a website, make it easy to browse the web. There … Read More

by staff on April 24, 2008March 17, 2013

Divorces & Celebrations

Cam Asutra & Sue Trakama Cam Asutra knew from the moment he saw Sue Trakama walking down the aisle in December of 2009 that their marriage was going to end in divorce. Ms. Trakama was wearing a wedding dress that … Read More

by staff on November 10, 2010March 22, 2013

PrinceWatch

Kickin’ around the Nass office late one night, we thought we saw the face of the Virgin Mary on a sofa cushion, but up close it looked more like David Patterson, so we just decided to flip it. Then somebody suggested we do a PrinceWatch, as it had after all been a while since the last edition.

by staff on December 3, 2009March 17, 2013

Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nass doesn’t want to see again next year: So much self-loathing staring back out of the mirror My love handles My puffy cheeks My cankles Food My third nipple Uncircumcised penises Uncircumcised vaginas The … Read More

by staff on May 9, 2013August 18, 2013

100 Things To Do Before You Graduate

A Nass list.

by staff on September 26, 2012July 9, 2017

Nassau Weekly’s Weekly Diet

Oh Gross. We accidentally just looked at you and your fatness grossed us out. Big time. Well, because we here at the Nassau Weekly are bonded together by a spirit of philanthropy and kindness, we are going to give you what you so desperately need: A brand new diet.

by staff on October 4, 2006March 17, 2013

100 Better Ways To Spend The $75,000 Now Being Spent By The USG On Their Signature Orange & Black Ball:

(Which Three-Hour Ball Consists Of Gymnasium Drunkenness, Middling Food, And Middling Music)

by staff on October 17, 2012July 21, 2017


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