Stuck in Purrrgatory

February 20, 2022

Stuck in Purrgatory: Full Design

This week the Nass reflects on the meditative power of a cappuccino, challenges poetry publications, and envisions life as a human clone.


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Overheard outside RoMa

Cynical Colonial Member: I heard some TI members say everyone was getting COVID from their orgy. (a moment later) Terrace members would have worn masks at an orgy.

Overheard while reading about brainwashing

Religion major 1: Do you know what neoliberalism actually is?
Religion major 2: Uh, something that people criticize…?

Overheard at Terrace

Terrace Officer: If Yung Thug is Charlie Parker, Future is John Coltrane.

Overheard at RoMa Breakfast

Loud crypto bro: Nancy Pelosi is the best trader in the US. Her trades are unmatched. I follow them every week on

Overheard in Rocky

Gym bro: I did chest day yesterday. My tits hurt. Wait, you should feel my tits.

Overheard in seminar

Professor: You do realize that right? You could just lie. Y'all are too honest.

Overheard in Aaron Burr

Reminiscing Professor: I was in band. It's like the coolest thing ever. Why weren't the rest of you in band?

Overheard at Brunch

Avid lecture participant: I say some stupid bullshit, but at least it's intellectually stimulating bullshit.

Overheard in Latin seminar

Morbid professor: To be eaten by dogs is horrifying– I don't know, it sounds kinda nice.

Overheard in a very serious literature class

Professor: insanity is the window toward knowledge… 80% of people are suggestible to hypnosis, 20% are egotists with ego-mania. Which are you and which am I?

Overheard in East Pyne

German Professor: Some authors are like scratch and sniff stickers. You don't have to do much work before they come to life.

Overheard at the Mint

Agreeable juniors: The sex tape was mutual.

Overheard on Nassau

Guy who looks like a frat bro: I’m getting healthy. I just started taking a multivitamin.

Overheard outside 185 Nassau

Senior art student smoking, muttering: never seen so many Honda’s.

Overheard outside Blair Hall

Middle-aged tourist with companions: "Wow, these steps remind me of the Lincoln Memorial"