Only Fans

February 21, 2021

Only Fans – Full Design

This week, the Nass ponders anxiety, cuts rocks, and gets really into chess.

Verbatim

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Overheard over text

Financial fiend: I think I might buy tiny amounts of bitcoin. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to lose at this point.

Overheard in family group chat

Mother: Happy Valentine’s Day! I am so in love with each one of you truly wonderful people!

Fruit of her loins: Haha buy me dinner first.

Overheard in EEB group project

Eager participant: I’m not sure this biodiversity thing matters, but I feel like it’ll make a good discussion question.

Overheard Outside Trader Joe

Sophomore 1 on Bon Appetite: And then they got shut down because of racism.

Sophomore 2: And your sister is into that?

Overheard over text

“To All the Boys” Fangurl 1: When we’re 40 we’ll have to get together for a wine night and watch the new movie about Lara Jean’s divorce.

“To All the Boys” Fangurl 2: Honestly… I’d watch it.

Overheard Outside Wilcox

Girl kicking large package across icy path at midnight: I'm fine.

Overheard in Forbes Annex

Sophomore 1 locked outside: I will honor code you, and then I will end your bloodline!

Sophomore 2 from the inside: Forget that. I'll social contract you!

Overheard in Seminar

A perspicacious student of machine writing: James Joyce does not pass the Turing Test.

Overheard in Zoom Dms

Comp Lit Girl: Let me tell you it is SO easy to snack on stuff. like am I hungry?? No!! Am I going to eat the entire thing today?? YES!!! Such is the life on zoom.

Overheard in Sem

Tenured Theater Prof: Now my alcoholism is coming to fore…

Overheard in Forbes Annex

New Jersey Public School Student: I didn't realize adults could actually be competent until I came to Princeton.

Overheard via text

Intellectual, after making a sex joke: Punctuation speaks louder than words.

Crossword

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