Dear Readers,
How pleased we are to have you! Come, come. Feel our warm, papery embrace. It is cozy in here, whether you use our pages for pleasure, insulation, or as toilet paper.
Dear Readers and Non-Readers Alike, Hello! Welcome to the _Nassau Weekly_—almost as readable as _the Starr Report_, if _Starr Report_ jokes are still “in” (and if they’re “not,” then we are much more readable than _the Starr Report_ and we … Read More
Dear All, Sometimes we make mistakes. Most of the time they are small– like forgetting to wipe before we get in the shower or eating too much at dinner. Sometimes, however, these mistakes are rather large. Like having sex with … Read More
1. BLACK TAMBOURINE Black Tambourine [Slumberland] 2. FOUR TET There Is Love In You [Domino] 3. PANTHA DU PRINCE Black Noise [Rough Trade] 4. TITUS ANDRONICUS The Monitor [XL] 5. VARIOUS ARTISTS Pomegranates: Persian Pop [B-Music] 6. TED LEO AND … Read More
Dear Reader, How’s our day going? Actually not that great, now that you ask. We’re still pretty hurt that you never wrote in to our how-was-*The Life of Pi*-not-a-hoax essay contest, and that hundred bucks is burning a whale of … Read More
First Voice Message: Today, Friday, the 3rd, 4:27 a.m. — The sounds of Manhattan circa 3 a.m., most noticeably an earnestly diegetic purring. — Hey, man, I know it’s been awhile. — Palpable, nay, precocious, slurring — I’m calling to … Read More
1. The popular Dirty Southern rap term “Crunk” has it’s origin in the early 1960s. Jewish pharmacist’s would ask young men “bist du krank?” or “are you sick?” when they purchased a dozen bottles of cough syrup. Presumably, the young … Read More
Dear Readers, Have you stopped to think about the biblical roots of idiocy? The disciples really were the prototypes for the moron in front of you at the supermarket who takes so long to write a check that you can … Read More