1. George W. Bush
2. Julie Cooper “dating” a characeter who’s supposed to be 20 years younger than her but is actually played by an actor who’s her age.
3. “I’m sorry, the Princess is in another castle”
1. The popular Dirty Southern rap term “Crunk” has it’s origin in the early 1960s. Jewish pharmacist’s would ask young men “bist du krank?” or “are you sick?” when they purchased a dozen bottles of cough syrup. Presumably, the young … Read More
Dearest Nasslings: Welcome to Starbucks Coffee™ Presents: the Nassau Weekly’s Corporate, Consulting, Crass Consumer Culture Issue. We’ve made a wonderful friend from Seattle with a bone-crushing handshake, and boy-oh-boy if we aren’t rolling in it this week. Now served up: … Read More
Allies, Enemies, and Non-Combatants, It is with great fanfare and pleasure that we bring you this, the third issue of our tenure as Editors-in-Chief. This week you’ll find a portrait of former Senator Majority Leader Bill Frist ’74, an analysis … Read More
Dear All, Sometimes we make mistakes. Most of the time they are small– like forgetting to wipe before we get in the shower or eating too much at dinner. Sometimes, however, these mistakes are rather large. Like having sex with … Read More
First Voice Message: Today, Friday, the 3rd, 4:27 a.m. — The sounds of Manhattan circa 3 a.m., most noticeably an earnestly diegetic purring. — Hey, man, I know it’s been awhile. — Palpable, nay, precocious, slurring — I’m calling to … Read More
A couple of days ago—I’m sure you remember; it was only a couple of days ago, just work with me here—I sat down to skim the rest of a Faulkner short story in the three-and-a-half minutes I had before lecture, when I was interrupted by the music you were playing. Can we talk about that for a sec?
We recently got an email from Barack Obama. We had to dig it out of the spam filter, but we did get it. “Dear Nassau Weekly,” it read. “This morning, Michelle and I awoke to some surprising and humbling news. … Read More
Dear Readers, Have you stopped to think about the biblical roots of idiocy? The disciples really were the prototypes for the moron in front of you at the supermarket who takes so long to write a check that you can … Read More
Dear Reader, How’s our day going? Actually not that great, now that you ask. We’re still pretty hurt that you never wrote in to our how-was-*The Life of Pi*-not-a-hoax essay contest, and that hundred bucks is burning a whale of … Read More