Nassau Weekly

Self-proclaimed Existentialist: Not to Jaden Smith right now, but can we talk about the political and economic state of the world?

Couple walking together near the Fleet Feet Store

Girl: Look Fleet feet!

Guy, seductively: mmmmmm, feeeeeet!

Girl: Do you wanna go in?

Guy: no…

Bisexual guy: All the guys are so boring, even the maoist. I need to go back to women.

Student who has been in the library all day: I feel like I need to do something for myself for a change.

Another student: What are you thinking?

Same tired student: Sleep.

Someone who doesn’t play around: Has anyone told you that you are manipulative?

Girl in boy troubles: Well. Actually, yes.

Friend discussing another friend’s disposition: I feel like you are a very chalant person.

Friend being discussed: Really? I take myself as someone who isn’t non-chalant at all.

Interjector: Guys! You are talking about the same thing!

Not-an-opera-person: Sandra Oh is in an opera?

Opera-person: It’s a speaking role.

Recent victim of ‘playful’ Bike Ramming: Northern Europeans play too rough, Like- he thought we were both having fun there. 

Engineer: I’m running an experiment in the apartment for a lab so don’t be concerned if you see wires in the bathroom lol.

Patron: My cousin just gave birth. And it ripped…to her ass.