English Senior; Famous Poet: Sometimes I wish I smoked. It would give me an excuse to go outside.
Two people, discussing how they keep warm when going out: I let the alcohol keep me warm on the way there, and take a jacket on the way back.
Recruit who dropped their sport: Can I work in?
Regular student: Work in Stone? Frist? Campus Club? Work in where?
Thinks in emotions: I don’t know if we’re dating or anything…
Thinks in numbers: The amount of square footage you’ve covered does not say friendship.
Dietetic dialectical diatribist: I don’t think a vegan framework gets us most directly to what I want to see in our society. On the list of big picture issues, it is NOT making the top five…
From a Central Asian dictatorship: It was a bad month for democracy. I’m fleeing the country now.
Bickered Ivy, joined Cap: It’s surprisingly rewarding when you fall into the current of normalcy.
Just got ghosted on Hinge: It doesn’t matter, the life is ruined already.
Sensorially sensitive: My bottles are so loud, it’s embarrassing.
Traditional (mentally-shackled) woman: I just feel bad after drinking. Alcohol makes me feel depressed the morning after.
Liberated (depressed) woman: Sounds like a skill issue.
Honor Code Violator: Yeah, ever since ChatGPT came out, I've been finding it so hard to write sentences.
Returning from the Street: What did she say about you?
Perceived Aristocrat: She said I don't seem like someone who would mingle with the poor.
T.I.’s Southern Gentleman: If I were given the opportunity to be Jewish, I would love it. I can't imagine having that taken away from me like that.
Has their priorities straight: I couldn’t break up with him today. I had a COS project.
Gay-passing pedant: You called Chris’s biceps “glistening”?
Woman: What word would you use?
Gay-passing pedant: Bulging, gargantuan, varicose, veiny.
Free spirit: I had ice-cream twice today.
Zero-sugar, can deadlift 425 lbs: I might have to McCosh you if this behavior continues…
Overthinker: We were the problem.
Underthinker: No, because we were the majority.
Has hyper-flexible elbows: Women are so understudied. We have no idea what kind of weird muscles we might have.
Homoerotic BSE major: Would you rather be gay or die alone? That's the question in front of me right now.
Not-ready: A child is a time bomb!