Crazed chick: I’m literally going to convert to Judaism. Enabler: You called down rains from Adonai.

Student telling a story: …so I never ate anything bad in my childhood… Another student interrupting: Like paint?

Member of the LGBTQ+ Community: I think a gay man and a straight woman can have sex and be in a normal marriage.

Barista: Large false dichotomy on the bar.

Bored 20-something dude: Wanna cop a ludicrous felony and attack the electrical grid?

Guy on coffee date: I think SOC is really easy. Girl on coffee date: *nods* Guy on coffee date: I don’t even know what SOC is.

Stereotypical SPIA major: I interned at McKinsey this summer. Her coffee date: Oh, does one of your parents work there? SPIA major: No, my dad’s a client. Coffee date: A big client? SPIA major: Yeah, like a really big client.

Tech bro: Well, uh, my moral compass is ChatGPT, so I’m not sure I’m on board with that.

Christian, balking at the idea of an 8:30 AM lecture: Literally the only thing I would wake up for at 7:30 AM is the Second Coming of Christ.

Tech bro: Well, uh, my moral compass is ChatGPT, so I’m not sure I’m on board with that.

Guy (talking about the Performative Male Contest): I just don’t see why women find that kind of man attractive. Straight Girl with heteronormative tendencies: Well, makes sense, because if you found that attractive, you’d be gay. Guy: I AM GAY

Professor with a pixie cut: So what does GDP stand for? Backwards-hat-wearing econ major junior: Can I phone a friend?