In a ‘very special issue’ of the Nassau Weekly, we’re attempting to tackle one of the most controversial topics in recent history: drugs. Are we the first publication to do this? No. Will we be the last? I mean, I’d be surprised to see anyone else approach the taboo with as much tact and grace as we are sure to. As you flip through the pages of the issue, you might find, however, an explicit non-presence of writing about things that are drug-like, but not necessarily drugs in the ‘classical’ sense. Feelings or objects that can elicit some sense of euphoria or high of the utmost potency. I’m here to fill this gap. The entries you will read may shock you, may be completely incomprehensible, but trust me that I say with complete severity that my relationship with the word ‘praxis’ is akin to that which one might have with LSD. I’ve experienced this word tactilely, not only coming to an understanding of the meaning of the word but also of myself. Buying clothes that I don’t like is like heroin: I know it’s bad for me each time I do it but I’m only trying to recreate those first, great highs, or that perfect pair of pants. I crave the notifications I receive daily on my phone, but I have to obfuscate this fact in order to surrender myself to the masses who claim to hate what the iPhone has done to them: I’m a high functioning phone-aholic.

So, when you read this list, read it first as a joke. But I urge you to read it a second, even three or four more times, or if you want to dig really deep six, seven, or maybe eight more times. You know what? Nine or ten times might even do the trick. After these ten times, you might have learned something about yourself and your addictions. You might even find that through this practice, you’re addicted to ol’ Ellie Diamond and her little lists. For that, there is no antidote. Just live.

1. vaping as a joke
2. buying clothes that don’t fit 
3. adhering to the speaking style of whatever podcast im listening to
4. telling somebody i worked out today
5. checking my email
6. love
7. the albums ray of light and confessions on the dancefloor by madonna
8. delusion
9. laughter
10. employment
11. the cacophony of sights, sounds, and smells one is confronted with on the streets of new york city ~
12. getting 2 likes on a tweet
13. getting 4 likes on an instagram story
14. the word ‘praxis’
15. checking my notifications while my phone is on ‘do not disturb’
16. “your order has been delivered”
17. fabricating
18. waking up with a mysterious bruise
19. the spotlight
20. leaving things strewn about
21. saying “famously” before describing a habit or trait of mine that is not, in fact, widely known
22. the fog
23. shoes
24. having a weird day
25. cocaine