Spontaneity
escapes me,
I swim in fear
of unlikely tsunamis,
or phantasmic beasts.
I swim
with a raincoat on,
protecting my words
from the world.
My ears tinged with
the muffled sounds
of laughter.
My body
quaking under the
temple of thoughts
I’ve built.
I find myself in a canyon
of small thoughts
and big stones
Lost, I sink with all my faults.
The boats float
back and forth,
I am a fraud
from back to front.
Humans—
Bodies gliding,
Bodies smiling,
Bodies fighting,
Small spirals mid-air
jumping off the rocks
They resurface
and repossess their bodies
seconds after plunging.
They float along the boats,
above me.
Yet I seem to sink
deeper and deeper
away from my skin,
away from what makes me real.