Spontaneity

escapes me,

I swim in fear

of unlikely tsunamis,

or phantasmic beasts.

 

I swim

with a raincoat on,

protecting my words

from the world.

 

My ears tinged with

the muffled sounds

of laughter.

 

My body

quaking under the

temple of thoughts

I’ve built.

 

I find myself in a canyon

of small thoughts

and big stones

Lost, I sink with all my faults.

 

The boats float

back and forth,

I am a fraud

from back to front.

 

Humans—

Bodies gliding,

Bodies smiling,

Bodies fighting,

Small spirals mid-air

jumping off the rocks

 

They resurface

and repossess their bodies

seconds after plunging.

They float along the boats,

above me.

 

Yet I seem to sink

deeper and deeper

away from my skin,

away from what makes me real.

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