Well Endowed

Overheard in Holder

I’m thinking of giving out blowjobs for Lent.
Don’t you mean you’re thinking about giving them up?
No.

What? Sex makes you fat? Well then it’s a good thing I’m not having sex, because I’ve already gained seven pounds this year.

When I’m sucking a guy’s dick, I sort of like to be able to gag. I don’t know, I guess it’s just comforting.

I don’t smoke, I just see things sometimes.

New Hampshire is the sweating vagina of New England.

I don’t think old people are useless, I just find it easier to kill them.

This book is truly pathetic and not really useful. I would strongly encourage you not to look at it... But it’s mandatory.

Astrology is evil and bad. I’m not trying to be judgemental, I’m just saying.

Pluto is moonwhipped.