We Want An Intern

October 11, 2015


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Overheard outside a dorm

Chi phi senior, to young woman: I’ve thought about it, and I think I’m okay with being sexually objectified.

Overheard at Ivy

Sophomore sorority sister: I don’t want to be SAE hazed, I want to be AEPi hazed.

Overheard in Taipei subway

White male junior: I wonder if it’s hard being pregnant.

Overheard in East Asian Library

Chi Phi 1: I need a spitter.
Chi Phi 2: Spit on the ground dude, it’s East Asia.

Overheard on NJTransit

US soldier, on broken down train: This is like asking a girl to Netflix and chill and then turning on Youtube.
Other soldier: Man, do you know how many movies you can find on Youtbe?

Overheard in Terrace

German major: Dude, with your outfit you couldn’t even get into Berghain.

Overheard in Whig Clio basement

Future diplomat: When I got hosed from Tower, my parents bought me a huge supply of canned food.

Overheard on 2019 Facebook page

Nerd: Not more than ten minutes on the freeway, I somehow get t-boned and my trebuchet is in ruins.

Overheard in Henry

Radical feminist: The problem is that I'm a TI bro in the body of a girl with a tight vagina.