Real World Ruminations

Overheard in Holder

I think when I die I want to be buried with my hands on my nuts.

At Yale they have this club where people get together, eat fried chicken, and watch pornos every Friday.
Wait, isn’t that at Quad?

Well, if I have to stay, can I at least take my shirt off?

I don’t want to sleep with him... I just want to measure it.

There is gonna be so much pussy at my funeral.

Do computers suck because they’re guys, or do guys suck because they’re computers?

I could have scored last night, but I had to wake up early.