Princeton, IL

March 7, 2013


More →

Overheard at Terrace

CJL regular, indignantly: Sometimes I look at the Instagrams of my high school friends and I’m like, that is NOT what an
Instagram is supposed to be.

Overheard in a text conversation during writing seminar

Unrequited lover: His brow protrudes such an appropriate amount he has a really striking quarter profile also I’m texting this from the bathroom I wonder how he would feel if he knew I’d thought about him while pooping

Overheard in Whitman

Tower senior: After unprotected sex all I can think about is my semen inside a girl. When does it leave?

Overheard at Late Meal

Ivy Theta: I mean sorry I, like, can’t afford to be an Art History major.

Overheard in a Basement

Press Club member: Have you seen The Carter, like the documentary?
Angelic Ivy sophomore: Yeah that’s why I’m so interested in the purple drank.

Overheard in Spelman

St. A’s sophomore: I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I see high definition television... I had to explain to my mother what ‘whiskey dick’ was the other day.

Overheard in Frist

Disillusioned international freshman, after learning what a corn dog is: I thought they were like vegetarian hot dogs.

Overheard on University Place

Mother, to adult son: Phis-i-o-log:-ic-ally they have different bodies, guys and girls.

Overheard at the Center for Jewish Life

Future Bridgewater employee: Martha’s Vineyard is better.

Overheard at Terrace

Nass editor: I wrote my college
essay about a Tool song. It was about the Fibonacci sequence

Overheard in Frist

President of Panhellenic Council, to Ivy Asian: [with respect to her origin] What are you?

Overheard at the Cloisters

Tour guide: So, about monastic life—
Joking-not-joking grad student: Think ‘graduate student.’

Overheard at Terrace

St. A’s sophomore: Black Beauty would’ve been a better book from the horse’s perspective. Y’know, chronicling the abuse.
Terrace junior, excitedly: Fifty Shades of Horse!

Overheard in Wilson

Nass Freshman: There was this kid last year who wrote his thesis in a week.
Freshman Theta prospect: How long does it usually take?

Overheard in Forbes

Curmudgeonly Forbesian: I don’t think my family would ever speak to anyone who purports to be press.

Overheard in Frist

Ivy junior, on Ivy aenior: He’s
totally American analytical, but you have to understand the
structuralist inheritance.