Nasstro Enteritis

April 2, 2016


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Overheard in Forbes dining hall

Freshman girl to freshman boy: ...and that’s why physics is easy and sociology is hard.

Overheard on iMessage

Student: Why is the flag at half mast today?
Other student: Isn’t that a sexual thing?

Overheard drunk on the street

Adamant frosh girl: I’m not your cow!
Senior boy: You’re more than just your milk...

Overheard on Facebook on Easter Sunday

Things that come back to life on Easter: Jesus and puwireless.

Overheard outside the Architecture Library

St. A’s terran, listening to a gregorian chant while smoking a spliff: I like the idea of faith.

Overheard TI dancefloor

Female varsity athlete: This place is full of dudes who think they’re the shit but who have the smallest penises.

Overheard at Whitman dining hall

Pensive junior: When I was younger, I posted really embarrassing things on facebook... (pauses) unladylike things.

Overheard outside 1903

Nerd: I’m excited that my lab goggles are coming in the mail today. The nose bridge is really comfortable.

Overheard at Say Cheez

Satisfied customer: That was delicious. I’m going to trip advisor the hell out of your guys.

Overheard on Nassau Street

Teen girl, as teen boy proudly hands her enormous latte: You didn’t get it iced? How could you not get it iced? We’re breaking up.

Overheard on iMessage

TI senior male: We need volunteers to slather [Chi Phi senior]’s nipples in petroleum jelly.

Overheard in Wu

Bubbly frosh girl, to boy: I like your beard!
Boy: I like how you don’t answer my snapchats...

Overheard at Miami airport

Lululemon-wearing, Louis Vuitton-bearing girl: I was in this cabana with a bunch of old people, you know, like architects from Michigan. They were so old, like old enough to be my boyfriend — I mean my grandpa — oh em gee I can’t believe I just said that, whatever.

OH in Frist

Tower junior: All of Bourbon Street is like TI, but like, more colorful and gay.


Contemplative Junior Film Watcher: I don’t get uncomfortable watching sex scenes with my parents. After all, aren’t we all just sacks of jello with teeth?