This week, the Nass examines liberal orthodoxy, considers adolescence, and calls home.
Freshman playing never-have-I-ever: Never have I ever called someone bestie during sex.
Junior looking at a plate of meat: A vegan would actually kill me right now–but they can't 'cause they're vegan!
Religion Studies Student: This might sound bad, but is it wrong to highlight the Bible?
Chaotic Atheist: Depends on the color. It needs to be red like His blood.
Nass Managing Editor: I'm happy to read, I just can't write.
Thoughtful student: What makes teen horror movies so good is that one weird cum scene.
Brazilian: Why does the US support some authoritarian countries but invade others?
Concerned virgin, surveying pineapple: If the pussy ph is low enough, will it melt my dick?
Skeptic junior: I'm going to give up vegetarianism for Lent.
Tourist to a cop: Nice costume!
Tired junior: You could be Hamlet.
Melodramatic friend: O, how art thou, Juliet?
Conflicted customer: Fuck you, Walt Disn—oh my god look at those backpacks!
Junior who’s onto something: Waluigi is nonbinary.
Kleptomaniacal Sophomore: Highly recommend stealing, it’s super free.
Sly twenty-something: Twelve ladies in the same room. This should get interesting.
Comp Lit Major: If you don't like Ovid, I don't like you.
Tragic Thrill Seeker: I can't go on most of the rides. I have chronic vertigo.
Overtired friend: You have so much fucked up about you. You're like an onion of fuckery.