Little McCosh of Horrors

October 31, 2021

Verbatim

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Overheard at Roma

Dude bro #1: *screeches*

Dude bro #2: *screeches in response*

Dude bro #1: Echolocation, baby. Works every time.

Overheard in the slums

Dejected French major: Why is he only texting me after my blowjob tweet…

Overheard at Terrace

Tired SWUG: I cannot have a third, middle-aged boyfriend right now.

Overheard in 1901

Junior passing group of drunk girls screaming Teenage Dream without music: Is this a cappella?

Overheard at Blair Arch

Junior practicing self care: sometimes you just need to cry to go to sleep.

Overheard in Robertson

Sleep-deprived senior cramming for a midterm: Psych studies in the 50's and 60's were absolutely fucking metal.

Overheard in Firestone

Never-been-in-a-relationship sophomore, talking about potential boyfriend: I mean, he's already on my private story so I'm not sure what else would even change.

Overheard at Firestone

Tired Econ Major: I got a D on my first midterm, so now I really have to do well on my next ones.

Supportive Friend: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

Tired Econ Major: Well it was a high D, so it's fine.

Overheard in a small major’s single junior seminar

Department chair: Henry VIII had 6 wives, all of which he screwed. Terribly, not sexually. Though presumably he screwed them in that sense as well.

Overheard in Wilcox at midnight

Stressed student reading Freud: Kids playing. Aw. I miss being a kid. I miss being a future genius instead of a present disappointment.

Overhead in 1901

Student: We should do poppers to this Deja Vu x Cruel Summer x Getaway Car x Drivers License Soundcloud mashup!

Overhead in E-Quad

Professor, talking about springs: “If it’s got more mass, it’s not going to boingy-boingy as much.”

Overheard at Charter

Tired SWUG procrastinating her midterm: You know Only Fans? I wanna do something like that but Only Vibes.

Overheard Talking about USG Movie Tickets

Anthro Major: Why is it that at a school with infinite resources, we feel only scarcity?

Overheard at the Forbes Dhall

Premed sophomore: If I have too much free time, I'll just do work. Or get scared about death.