Memes of Egrets

October 20, 2011


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Overheard near Fine Hall:

Amateur political theorist: It’s a triumph of the will every time I cross Washington Road.

Overheard in Ivy bathroom:

Girl 1: I haven’t been in this stall since pickups last year when I was making out with a sophomore boy.
Girl 2: That happens to us all.

Overheard in Butler basement:

Facebook-stalking girl: Now [redacted]’s statuses aren’t even in English...
Friend: Are they in Asian?

OVerheard in Marquand:

Grad student: I don’t get why no hot undergraduate twinks have hit on me. I thought twinks love daddies.

Overheard in Wu

Pi Phi frosh, the morning after Bid Night: I think it’s okay that I made out with an ugly guy, I mean, it could have been a lot worse. I could’ve lost my shirt, or my dignity.

Overheard in Tower:

Tall guy: would you rather have a 100-pound scrotum or a ten-foot asshole?

Overheard outside Whitman:

Girl 1: How many staff members does your home in the Dominican Republic have?
Girl 2: Eight.
Girl 1: What!? We only have a seasonal maid in Nantucket!
Girl 2: Yeah. Third-world labor is so great.

Overheard at Chase Bank:

Tower member: Yeah, I’m trying to make a payment for club membership. The club is pretty exclusive, fancy and expensive. I need a check for a pretty large sum to pay for it.

Overheard in Whitman:

Freshman: I was like, so happy, that this 17-year-old axed his grandpa’s head off. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s
like super-sad, but it’s the perfect example for my freshman seminar presentation.

Overheard at College Night

Freshman boy: Think of crying kids, it will make your expression sexier.

Overheard at Bid Night:

Guy: Just wait until she blacks out, bro.

Overheard outside Brown:

Bike bro #1: No, like, it's actually part of my life plan to win the lottery.
Bike bro #2: Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?
Bike bro #1: No, but I'm going to buy three, and one of them is going to be the winner.