Kinder Garden

April 26, 2015


More →

Overheard in POL 346

Professor Wasow: I'm sure someone has done a political model of good sex.

Overheard in Frist

Dude: Nah man, I got it figured out now. You just gotta get a bottle big enough to put your dick in.

Overheard outside McCormick

Girl, lounging on bench, talking on phone: So this weekend, we have this thing called Sunday Funday, which is like this big day party where we all pretend to be Southern!

Overheard in Laughlin

Junior nutritionist: I used to think Kind Bars were healthy, but then I realized they're basically Kältein bars.

Overheard on iMessage

Dastardly Terran: I have a blister from opening too many condoms.

Overheard in the Women’s Center

Southern boy: The last time I cried was when I watched the movie Lincoln. I don't know, I just really love America.

Overheard in Frist

Daily Prince Columnist: I just don't have an opinion on this, so I'm writing a column about it.

Overheard on date

Terrace senior, to girlfriend: Your hair smells like a candy factory, except not with all the parts that violate international labor laws.

Overheard in Forbes

BodyHype senior: I'm gonna adopt 15 kids. They're gonna be all different races and each of them is gonna wear a different color sweater.

Overheard in Frist at 2am

TI senior girl: Do you wanna live in regret? Or do you wanna live in Sunday Funday?

Overheard in Mathey Dining Hall

Cannon sophomore, on horses: I rode them once, and was like, "this is an ineffective means of transportation."

Overheard in Terrace

Senior, on drug dealer: This dude is so professional! He gives me weed in a fucking cell phone box in a Target bag.

Overheard in Rural Massachusetts

Man: I don't mean to toot my own horn...but I am a great goat midwife.

Overheard in Writing Seminar

Girl: What's that one word that means "parodoxical dichotomy?"

Overheard in Wu

Politically aware girl: Feminism is sort of like communism.

Overhead in Ivy

Junior Pi Phi: Who else is gay that I've hooked up with?