Vice President: Well, true, it was unprecedented. I've been in the business for a long time and never seen a situation quite like this. We've had experiences where the President has been shot; we've never had a situation where the Vice President shot somebody.
Astute Reporter: Not since Aaron Burr...
VP: Not since Aaron Burr.
AP: Different circumstances.
VP: Different circumstances.
Jacob Gold: (awkwardly) "So...I thought you guys had alcohol at these things?"
Girl: Do you know "Amazing Grace"?
Guy: Is that a Celine Dion song?
Guy: today i peed beside kofi anan
Guy 1: My thesis advisor still hasn't responded to my six-page opus.
Guy 2: You should key into his car: 'Respond to my opus, fucker.'