Happy Easter

April 5, 2007

This Just in from Panama

It is the most dangerous game in Panama – one where the hunter always becomes the hunted.” It was to these words of wisdom that I clinked my glass in preparation for my imminent discovery of those gargoyle-like beasts—the type … Read More

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The Chabad Affair: Part 1

Rabbi Eitan Webb, when I come to interview him early last Wednesday in his Nassau Street apartment, is juggling with ease five things at once. The sun rages to highlight red flourishes in his beard and the car beeps become louder as the Princeton Borough awakens, but he is preparing to have some thirty students over for Passover seder, arranging to have a Matzah Ball party with a middle weight boxing champion, balancing his son on his lap, updating the Chabad website, and fingering an official letter from President Shirley Tilghman.

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The Anscombe Debate: Pro

Religious liberty might be supposed to mean that everybody is free to discuss religion. In practice it means that hardly anybody is allowed to mention it.” – G.K. Chesterton

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The Anscombe Debate: Con

Given the dust of the earth, God created Adam; given my article, you created this. It was with pleasure and confusion that I read your response for the first time: pleasure, for while I must wonder if we will convince no one other than our friends and the others’ enemies, this exchange must represent some blip to public intellectual debate at Princeton; confusion, because I have struggled to understand several of your arguments. But that is my fault. Finding myself in the post-earthquake world that you mention in your letter, I shall content myself with playing the Candide to your Pangloss.

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Searching for the Underground

If one is to stand in opposition to the middling masquerade that is Princeton culture, to scowl openly at every meaty guffaw or celebratory chant, then one would hope to rest confidently on a wealth of personal depth. It is … Read More

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The Tribulations of High School Chess

Sports are glorified because sports are clean. There’s always a clear loser and a clear winner. In the thrill of the moment, when caught up in our favorite spectator sports, we Americans know who to root for. Michael Weinreb, in … Read More

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300 Erect Nipples

From the cinematic virtuosos who brought us Robocop 2 and 3 comes 300, a gripping tale of political intrigue, passionate romance, and fervent nationalism with, by broad consensus, fewer than thirty lines of intelligible dialogue. The majority of these preciously … Read More

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Tell Me Why

Gregg Gillis sits in the library of Terrace Club; a few minutes ago he was eating potatoes. He is of average height and has enormous white teeth. He speaks rapidly and giddily, as though school has just been cancelled.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Lockhart

Girl 1: I don't really know why I'm on the pill anymore.
Girl 2: Well, at least if you get raped you won't have a child.

Overheard in Cafe Viv during “Art Night”

Group: (hysterical laughter for 30 seconds)
Girl: Wasn't that a great pun?

Overheard at Triumph

Waitress: What cheese would you like on your burger?
Girl: I'll have cheddar and onions.
Waitress: Onions aren't a cheese.
Girl: I know.

Overheard in Forbes

Guy 1: What's a do-rag?
Guy 2: A traditional urban headdress.

Overheard in locker room

Football Player: (Overhears "Sweet Child of Mine") This song is awesome. I'm so good at this in Guitar Hero.

Overheard in Firestone

Girl: I bet it's 7:12. *checks watch* Ohmigod, I must be psychic!
Guy: You don't have to be psychic to perceive the passage of time.