Good Neighbors

February 24, 2019


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Overheard at Terrace

Anxious man: And I was like, “Don’t theorize me right now. I just jizzed in a Joe Coffee urinal.”

Overheard on the steps of Robertson

Shrieking sophomore girl: I need to think about this, and I need to think about this HARD… *thinks* … I don’t think I should go for him.
Uninterested friend: I mean, doesn’t he have a girlfriend?

Overheard in Frist

Frantic Nass editor: Who has scholarship lying around?

Overheard in Fine

Kurdish bro: You gotta buy real estate in Syria… that shit's gonna blow up.

Overheard in “Miniatures” writing sem

Professor: If you say something is “bad," it has kind of a negative connotation

Overheard in Small World

Girl 1: "Where were we when we first met? Hong Kong?"
Girl 2: "No, I think we were in Bali at that point."

Overheard in Small World

Pi Phi/Ivy senior girl on phone: "Hi there, quick question…do you sell pickled okra?"

Overheard outside Frist

Oblivious girl on phone: I mean, all claims of elder abuse aside…

Overheard on Valentine’s Day

Woman 1: So do you have any fun plans for tonight?
Woman 2: My husband’s getting a colonoscopy tomorrow.

Overheard in Witherspoon’s cafe

Tall man, searching for wallet: Agh fuck, do you take Apple Pay?

Overheard in Wallace Hall men’s bathroom

Professor, carrying on a conversation from the toilet: “The Quakers, really, have deep imperial ambitions.”

Overheard in Frist

Finance bro: Jesus doesn't like pussy

Overheard in Edwards

Deadpan girl: I would Eiffel Tower with Achilles and Hector… definitely.

Overheard in Frist

Woke sophomore: It all kind of just boils down to sexism.

Overheard in a Monday meeting

Truth-telling junior boy: Terrace is expensive and woke white activists don’t actually like to do shit.

Overheard in Frist

Manic freshman girl: I just have nothing to concentrate on, so I just concentrate on dumb stuff. Like marrying Rob. You know? Just dumb stuff.

Overheard in the living room

Grandmother: Every time Eleanor bent over to pick up her toothbrush she got pregnant

Overhead in a double-booked ORF precept/Econ JIW workshop

Econ preceptor: This is a Stata workshop. This is not your room!
ORF preceptor: It is my room, actually.