.Gif Giving

December 12, 2015


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Overhead in Terrace

Nass writer: From the aesthetic of her Facebook profile, she seems like someone I would be friends with.

Overheard in Ivy bathroom

Junior Pi Phi: He’s cute from a distance, like Monet.

Overheard on the Upper West Side

Woman: How’s Mike?
Man: He’s good. He’s not in jail.

Overheard near Pyne

Introspective Chi Phi: Dude, I get so turned on by boobies.

Overheard in the CJL

Freshman gentile: So is Manischewitz supposed to be sweet, or...?

Overheard in Henry Courtyard

Senior Pi Phi: I’ve started wearing higher shoes as a defense mechanism against hooking up with short guys.

Overheard in Bloomberg

WPRB Junior: He’s a dick.
WPRB Senior: Yeah, but he’s a warm dick.

Overheard in hell

Junior male: Remember before finance when you actually wanted to do cool things?

Overheard in precept

Preceptor, sighing: No one should do a PhD. It is not a good lifestyle.

Overheard in Architecture library

Philosophy major: I don’t have any formalwear. I’m an aggressively casual person.

Overheard Parents Weekend

TI dad: I want to be the first parent ever McCoshed.

Overheard in Practical Ethics precept

Woman: I can’t think of a single good thing Hitler did.
Preceptor: He made the trains run on time.

Overheard in Little

Recovering scene kid: Oh did you guys know that Cobra Starship broke up?

Overheard in Pyne

TI senior girl, indignant: What are you even going to do with your husband if you don’t like watching sports?

Overheard in Scully

White man: You fucking police me again...and see what happens.

Overheard in Terrace

Member of the literati: I’m like balls deep in the Scribner room.

Overheard on iMessage

Journalist: I think my fart rate quadruples when I’m in Starbucks.

Overheard in the CJL

Freshman goy: I’m not trying to third-floor bicker Judaism.

Overheard at TI

Senior KA 1: If I have a daughter she’s definitely going to have daddy issues.
Senior KA 2: If you have a daughter she will be my third or fourth wife.