Don’t @ Me

October 2, 2016


More →

Overheard on spring break

Senior girl 1, describing the catch phrase clue “Calf”: Baby cow.
Senior girl 2: Piglet! No wait, veal!

Overheard in Buenos Aires

Advertising Manager, talking about his hair: It’s like Lindsay Lohan’s vagina on my head right now.

Overheard outside a middle school in Philadelphia

Pimply boy: I think I’d eat anyone’s poop if they were hot enough.

Overheard outside Holder

Woman, intently: I think that’s my definition of love: dying for someone.

Overheard at a Nass Meeting

Senior, quietly: I always thought Meghan Trainor was an Olympic athlete

Overheard on Nassau Street

Father of horrified prefrosh, stepping in front of oncoming car: LEGALLY THEY ARE OBLIGATED TO LET US CROSS

Overheard in course email

GSS Professor: I also want to emphasize that we will not be watching any pornography in class time.

Overheard Forbes dining hall

Skinny junior editor: when I was fat I would put bandaids on my nipples because I didn’t like the way I looked in t shirts.

Overheard at Terrace

Stoned stoner, to no one in particular: It’s just — I — I just like spliffs, ok?

Overheard in TI

Junior Theta #1: I should get tested for STDs but I feel uncomfortable...
Junior Theta #2: You know what else is uncomfortable? Crabs.

Overheard in ‘48

Press club member: I’m like bigfoot: no one has ever seen me work.
Senior ti woman: You’re right. Bigfoot’s thesis is trash.

Overheard in Rocky common room

Anxious frosh, to himself: I need to drink a lot of water so I can urinate out all of my problems.

Overheard in Rome

Rising sophomore: I don’t really remember the names of my elementary school teachers.
Rising junior: I remember everything from my childhood. I remember kindergarten. I remember preschool. I even remember breast feeding from my mom, which awkward to tell people.

Overheard at Olive’s

Pi Phi Senior: It was a mediocre sexual experience with a bald man and I paid $100 for it.

Overheard on Snapchat

Sophomore girl: She sang happy birthday to my IUD as she put it in.