Don’t @ Me
October 2, 2016
Verbatim
More →Overheard on spring break
Senior girl 1, describing the catch phrase clue “Calf”: Baby cow.
Senior girl 2: Piglet! No wait, veal!
Overheard in Buenos Aires
Advertising Manager, talking about his hair: It’s like Lindsay Lohan’s vagina on my head right now.
Overheard outside a middle school in Philadelphia
Pimply boy: I think I’d eat anyone’s poop if they were hot enough.
Overheard outside Holder
Woman, intently: I think that’s my definition of love: dying for someone.
Overheard at a Nass Meeting
Senior, quietly: I always thought Meghan Trainor was an Olympic athlete
Overheard on Nassau Street
Father of horrified prefrosh, stepping in front of oncoming car: LEGALLY THEY ARE OBLIGATED TO LET US CROSS
Overheard in course email
GSS Professor: I also want to emphasize that we will not be watching any pornography in class time.
Overheard Forbes dining hall
Skinny junior editor: when I was fat I would put bandaids on my nipples because I didn’t like the way I looked in t shirts.
Overheard at Terrace
Stoned stoner, to no one in particular: It’s just — I — I just like spliffs, ok?
Overheard in TI
Junior Theta #1: I should get tested for STDs but I feel uncomfortable...
Junior Theta #2: You know what else is uncomfortable? Crabs.
Overheard in ‘48
Press club member: I’m like bigfoot: no one has ever seen me work.
Senior ti woman: You’re right. Bigfoot’s thesis is trash.
Overheard in Rocky common room
Anxious frosh, to himself: I need to drink a lot of water so I can urinate out all of my problems.
Overheard in Rome
Rising sophomore: I don’t really remember the names of my elementary school teachers.
Rising junior: I remember everything from my childhood. I remember kindergarten. I remember preschool. I even remember breast feeding from my mom, which awkward to tell people.
Overheard at Olive’s
Pi Phi Senior: It was a mediocre sexual experience with a bald man and I paid $100 for it.
Overheard on Snapchat
Sophomore girl: She sang happy birthday to my IUD as she put it in.