Diamond Rain

February 28, 2014


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Overheard in Varsity Club lecture

Overzealous Athletic Director: Just because you come to Princeton doesn’t mean you have to give up the pursuit of excellence.

Overheard in Viv

White sophomore: For me it was never anything but Princeton. It was just like, duh. Luckily I had a tiger mom, so it was a given.
(later) When I was little I just like read books. Like who does that? I was special.

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore girl: It was an incestuous joke, and now it’s an incestuous reality.

Overheard in Rocky Dining Hall

Athlete, at top of his lungs: STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR PERIODS!

Overheard in 1901

Fashion designer’s daughter: I was taught to value clothes more than people.

Overheard in the New York Times

Columnist: Ruby Karp, 13, of Manhattan grimaces as she takes an ugly selfie, which some teenagers use to challenge conventional beauty standards.

Overheard in Blair

Terran streaking Ivy: I’m not afraid. Who’s going to beat us up, the University Press Club?

Overheard in Bloomberg

Bro 1, to friends: It’s really weird that I haven’t seen your penises. I’ve seen my home friends’.
Bro 2: I’m going to be honest, I have a small dick.

Overheard in Forbes

Southern belle: You can’t just buy your way into Southern deb balls like you can in New York.

Overheard in Tom Ford

White Cuban heiress, about tobacco perfume: I come from a long line of tobacco plantation owners, so this scent really speaks to me.

Overheard on a poster

Poster: Why do you appreciate our facilities staff?
Response: Henry—thanks for never questioning the contents of our garbage. It means a lot.

Overheard in COS 340

Computer science major: All I read is Tiger Admirers posts.

Overheard in Civil Liberties precept

Thoughtful freshman: To quote a nice little poem by Emily Dickinson…

Overheard on campus

Tower members to full cohort of new selectees, in raised voices: IF ANYONE ASKS YOU ABOUT BICKER, WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU SAY “NO FUCKING COMMENT.”

Overheard on Prospect

Sober Girl 1: I just think... like I wouldn’t think if I heard your voice that it was hot.
Sober Girl 2, in high pitched whiny voice: But the question is, is it annoying?

Overheard in inbox

Triangle member: Perform in a show directed by a Rhodes Scholar!