Diamond Rain

February 28, 2014

Eyes on the Skies

To telescope is to slide concentric components within themselves, to shrink sequentially, to densen. It is also a means of interstellar discovery, of flooding, of applying pressure. In the succeeding entries, we telescope the weather by precipitating and saturating our memories. Each succeeding memory of a series is composed in exactly half the number of words of the previous. Condense with us.

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Revelry as Rage

What does it mean to rage? The word’s attractiveness results from the contingencies it contains. “Rage” is an expression of promise and uncertainty. The potentialities inherent in raging create the possibility for spontaneity in a place where it rarely exists. Life at Princeton is highly routinized. We live according to the logic of the Google Calendar. We schedule leisure time. We diastinguish between productive and unproductive activity. To rage in the moment is to temporarily shatter the predictability of existence in our human capital factory.

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Forget Me Not

It was my freshman year of high school, and I was at my first Model UN conference, walking out of the dining room of the Hilton hotel where the conference was being held. I had just finished lunch with my friends and was heading back to my committee room, when I saw a face I hadn’t seen in several years. My best friend from grade school was getting onto the escalator in front of me. I started slapping my high school friend, Margaret, in excitement. I pointed to my old friend and whispered loudly, “I went to elementary school with that guy!”

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The Male Gaze

As I sat in the darkness of the Black Box theater, the words of Maude, Julianne Moore’s character in The Big Lebowski, echoed through my head. I did not know what to expect from these mysterious Vagina Monologues. As a man, I was prepared to be confronted, prepared to be unwelcome

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Ovum

There are always eggs at my house. Well, I’ll clarify that—there are always eggs somewhere around my house. Usually the hens are obedient and lay in their nest boxes, but they love to hide their work from us. Occasionally we’ll pull hay bales from the barn to find a cache of eggs tucked in a corner, like the work of a lazy Easter bunny. Sometimes they have been there for years; when we were younger, my siblings and I would throw them against trees deep in the woods, where their sulfur was overwhelmed by the smell of pine.

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Melancholia

Dr. Michaels usually remembered to take off his white coat before he went into Allison’s room, and today was not an exception. He put it on one of the nicer hangers and made sure the name tag on his breast pocket was clearly visible when the closet door was opened.

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Decisions, Decisions

I felt a pleasant warmth as I skied down the side of a Pennsylvania mountain, gliding to a stop at the bottom of the slope as my dad pulled up behind me. Together we waited in a short line and then boarded a slow-moving chairlift. As it carried us up the side of the mountain, we chatted about our past run and took in the pristine snow-covered sights.

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The Problem with Black History Month

On February 18th, three white students competed on College Jeopardy. In the second half of the show, which, thanks to the Internet, can be viewed on YouTube, the contestants sped through five of the six categories, which included obscure topics such as “Weather Verbs” and “International Cinema Showcase.” For 10 minutes, I waited for any of them to choose a question from the sixth category labeled “African-American History.”

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Mixed Feelings, to Music

Bombay bicycle club is one of scores of bands with a slightly ridiculous name that falls loosely into the category of “alternative,” and can be counted on to release albums frequently with subdued critical approval. This group, like its Pitchfork-friendly peers, has a healthy fan-base, instrumental competency, and a distinctive lead vocalist, but falls through the cracks all too easily.

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Stare, Glance, Stare

Eight years ago street artist Banksy disguised himself, entered the British Museum, and put a piece of his own work up on a wall. It was a slab of concrete, on which he had painted a cave figure drawing of a man with a shopping cart. Banksy even added an object label reading that this cave drawing pictured “early man venturing towards the out-of-town hunting grounds,” and was created by artist “Banksymus Maximus.”

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Bags of Blood and Guts

This July I was standing in a dusty schoolyard in Nansana, Uganda listening to Icona Pop’s “I Don’t Care” at a party for the NGO where I worked for two months. My stomach was full of a mysterious barbecued meat and the Ugandan equivalent of PBR my boss had purchased for the occasion. I asked my friends who had been cooking what I had just eaten.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Varsity Club lecture

Overzealous Athletic Director: Just because you come to Princeton doesn’t mean you have to give up the pursuit of excellence.

Overheard in Viv

White sophomore: For me it was never anything but Princeton. It was just like, duh. Luckily I had a tiger mom, so it was a given.
(later) When I was little I just like read books. Like who does that? I was special.

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore girl: It was an incestuous joke, and now it’s an incestuous reality.

Overheard in Rocky Dining Hall

Athlete, at top of his lungs: STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR PERIODS!

Overheard in 1901

Fashion designer’s daughter: I was taught to value clothes more than people.

Overheard in the New York Times

Columnist: Ruby Karp, 13, of Manhattan grimaces as she takes an ugly selfie, which some teenagers use to challenge conventional beauty standards.

Overheard in Blair

Terran streaking Ivy: I’m not afraid. Who’s going to beat us up, the University Press Club?

Overheard in Bloomberg

Bro 1, to friends: It’s really weird that I haven’t seen your penises. I’ve seen my home friends’.
Bro 2: I’m going to be honest, I have a small dick.

Overheard in Forbes

Southern belle: You can’t just buy your way into Southern deb balls like you can in New York.

Overheard in Tom Ford

White Cuban heiress, about tobacco perfume: I come from a long line of tobacco plantation owners, so this scent really speaks to me.

Overheard on a poster

Poster: Why do you appreciate our facilities staff?
Response: Henry—thanks for never questioning the contents of our garbage. It means a lot.

Overheard in COS 340

Computer science major: All I read is Tiger Admirers posts.

Overheard in Civil Liberties precept

Thoughtful freshman: To quote a nice little poem by Emily Dickinson…

Overheard on campus

Tower members to full cohort of new selectees, in raised voices: IF ANYONE ASKS YOU ABOUT BICKER, WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU SAY “NO FUCKING COMMENT.”

Overheard on Prospect

Sober Girl 1: I just think... like I wouldn’t think if I heard your voice that it was hot.
Sober Girl 2, in high pitched whiny voice: But the question is, is it annoying?

Overheard in inbox

Triangle member: Perform in a show directed by a Rhodes Scholar!