Bloodbath (The Halloween Issue)

October 31, 2024

In Search of an American Original in Friday the 13th and Sleepaway Camp

A pair of Nass writers look for the Original across a pair of movies that have more than a dozen sequels between them

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Bloodbath (The Halloween Issue): Full Design

Boo! You should’ve seen your face. The Nass’s first ever Halloween issue inside.

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Chronicles of a Scary Movie Convert

A Nass writer lauds the transcendent, self-escaping qualities of horror movies

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A Finance Horror Story

A Nass writer probes at some of the more proximate fears of Princeton kids these days

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Said, softly

Said, softly   October crushes down, squeezing the juice of summer and all the faces are new fresh new Mouths fallen heaps of gloss and lips  Sit. Sleep.  October crushes, and leaves curl on asphalt like fingers.    The leaves … Read More

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Spooky Mysteries I May or May Not Be Able to Clear up for You

Documenting some of the spookier mysteries that psychically afflict this Nass writer

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Banana Man

“He wondered if his body felt cold when she touched him. If she could sense the disconnect of his skin. If she could tell that even with her hands on his chest and her legs between his, they weren’t really touching.”

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P(erturbing) M(onstrous) S(ickening): On Periods

Essays, interviews, and scary movies about the horror of menstruation

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To Build a Monster

TO BUILD A MONSTER Synthetic taste, algorithmic broth, and neural-net nuggets stitched together. No human input required—just sit back and let the bots cook up something… alive?   INGREDIENTS 4 Full skeletal remains 2 Embalmed corpses with all organs attached … Read More

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Sigmund Freud Would’ve Loved AnimeCon

An invocation of the psychoanalyst’s “uncanny” to take a hard look at costume-wearing beyond Halloween

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Apocalypse (Maybe Not) Now?

“At some point lightning flashed big and bold across the sky. It was the first time in forever that the sky was anything other than that neverendin’ black, and I had to close my eyes to keep from being blinded.”

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Letter from the Editor

It’s absolutely true that this is the first time we’ve ever run a Halloween issue, and for a magazine as historically elaborate and artifactual as the Nassau Weekly, it’s a sort of mystifying reality. We scoured the dread tomes that … Read More

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Verbatim

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Doctor Manson removes the elastic wrapping from my face and holds the unblooded side of the knife to my eyes.

A smiling ball of black stares back at me.

The door creaked open.

And then it closed.

I showed up to Charter pub night, excited for my meal…

the vegetarian option was mushrooms.

Late at night, she felt the familiar warmth of her dog curled beside her, a comfort against the creeping darkness.

But when she turned to pet him, her hand brushed against a thousand tiny legs scuttling away into the shadows, leaving her utterly alone.

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself untransformed in his bed.

He failed to become an enormous insect.

Ann Coulter, Ted Cruz, JD Vance, and a couch are in my room.

I’m awake (alive).

All the power went out and we were plunged into darkness.

And then the landline rang.

Lucy says Papa is a liar.

Papa says Lucy died in her sleep.

As I lay alone in the dark master bedroom, I heard a sound that seemed like an infant breathing.

In the corner, the rocking chair began to rock.

I go to dinner.

They are out of food.

I struggled in the months after my doctor diagnosed me with a calcium deficiency, mostly just because those gummy supplements didn’t seem to do the trick.

I only started to feel right again--to feel whole again--when I turned to less artificial sources of calcium: Greek yogurt, sesame seeds, finger bones, teeth.

Realized a 3-hour test is due during a flight.

No wifi on board.