December 6, 2015


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Overheard at Terrace

Senior male: The best thing I learned in Berlin was how to test the quality of cocaine.

Overheard at Rojos

Freshman man, contemplating superstition: Is it bad luck to throw salt through a hula hoop?

Overheard in Fader Magazine

Kicker: By selling a sex toy with his new album, the electronic producer makes a powerful statement about how we consume.

Overheard on the Ivy porch

Senior TI woman, to sophomore boy: Are you gonna third-floor bicker? I’m just kidding, we’re never having sex.

Overheard Terrace

Jewish man: He’s the Paul Rudd of rabbinic law.

Overheard outside C-Store

Jewish freshman, wearing Christmas sweater: I don’t even go out really. The only reason I’m getting a fake is because tapings of my favorite NPR show are 21 and over.

Overheard in an Urban Studies Seminar

Leftist girl: But no one knows that Black Friday is actually Native American Heritage Day!
Wise professor, wisely: It just goes to show you... People don’t know a lotta things.

Overheard at the U-Store

Chi Phi senior, to woman wearing Cottage beanie: Is that a Cottage beanie?
Woman wearing Cottage beanie: No.

Overheard Terrace

Senior woman: His wrists aren’t flexible enough to be a fuckboy.

Overheard in Terrace

Leftist Jew: I only go to Lewis when I’m drunk.

Overheard in Pyne

Senior woman: I wish they could open up my brain & surgically remove my memories.
Senior woman 2: Lobotomy. What you’re describing is a lobotomy.

Overheard in Rocky

Actor-type: It isn’t sad crying—it’s cathartic, creative crying.

Overheard in Terrace

Junior woman: Someday I hope to have the confidence of a fully erect man.

Overheard at Ivy

Senior woman, gesturing to man: That boy used to be in love with me, and now he has a girlfriend.

Overheard in New York

Ivy junior to TI senior: You’re fratty but socially irrelevant. How does that feel?

Overheard in Pyne

Senior Woman: Our last interaction was me telling him, “I’m gonna vomit on your face.”

Overheard in Terrace

Speakeasy Attendee: I feel like a lot of people in Terrace resemble professional magic the gathering players I used to follow in high school.