Afternoon Delight

September 26, 2014


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Overheard in Frist

Ivy senior: Empathy? Is that a thing?

Overheard in East Pyne

Future State Department official: Also, I care about rights, or whatever.

Overheard in Frist

Freshman: Frist does look like a pretty cool place to sports...

Overheard in ANT 450

Prof. Borneman: Yoko Ono’s music, it’s very feminine. It’s almost as though she were singing from her vagina.

Overheard in Romanticism and Realism

Prof. Brodsky: Please God strike me dead where I stand the first time I take a selfie.

Overheard in T.I.

Bro: I have a tolerance like Dionysus.

Overheard at the Fraternity Formerly Known as AEPi

Parrty-goer: idk I spent my summer in Nepal doing some shit.

Overheard in the New York TImes

Correction: An earlier version of a summary with this article misstated the former title of Dick Cheney. He was vice president, not president.

Overheard on Nassau Street

Tower member, proudly: I can say confidently that it was the worst sex she will have in her entire life.

Overheard near Frist

Learned sophomore: When I was 16, I’m pretty sure I thought oral sex was when you talked about it.

Overheard in a Burger King

Middle aged man with a ponytail: No fucking old bitches for me. That’s a fact.

Overheard in 1901-Laughlin

TI junior: The U-Store was out of dice so I bought Yahtzee instead.

Overheard outside Frist

Girl: No, I know what you mean. All my friends in high school were prettier than me, too.

Overheard at Cloister

Freshman girl, to Ivy junior: teach me how to vomit

Overheard in Wilson

Knowledgeable freshman to confused freshman: No, it’s like a party you go to before the party, like a pre-party.

Overheard in Creative Writing

Joyce Carol Oates: What *is* a summer?

Overheard by Say Cheese

Ex-hotel employee, on former em- ployer: Fuck that shit. In five years, imma get rich, go back there, and fuck prostitutes.

Overheard in 1901-Laughlin

Theta: What happened to that threesome you were invited to?
Gay junior: It was a foursome. And I was uninvited because I didn’t want to smoke crystal meth.