Category: Uncategorized

Hospital Stories

The pain was too much; if I couldn’t sleep it was too much.

by on

Dangerous Presidents (and Precedents)

I am going to start off by saying, for the record, that I happen to like Bill O’Reilly. I almost never agree with what he has to say, but I almost always find him entertaining. If we can agree that the purpose of television is primarily to entertain (at least in our society), then Bill must be doing something right.

by on

Night at the Ballot – Full Design

This week, the Nass considers first-year mental health training, deletes instagram, and visits Delaware.

by on

The JUUL-ian Street Library: Full Design

In the final issue of our forty-third volume, the Nass looks for a lost bike, watches chalk disappear, and gets jazzy in the chapel.

by on

An Argument for Bigness

‘Reading,’ as describing a certain activity of eye-sliding-over-page, with eye recognizing ink blobs corresponding (by means of whatever neural calculus) either (1) to something like second-order phonemes, and therefore to certain aural centers and therefore to speech-parts of the brain, which ‘articulate’ meaning to other parts, or (2) to something like second-order morphemes, and therefore to certain visual centers, and therefore to picture-parts of the brains, which ‘project’ meanings to other parts, or (3) to some combination of (1) and (2)[1]—well, ignore that or bracket it, because I have 1,000 words and a little over, say, ten minutes to argue for long and arduous works of literature, their import and glory—and, specifically, for the particularly long and particularly arduous recent novels of Roberto Bolaño and David Foster Wallace.

by on

The 20 Most Popular People at Princeton

This past Sunday, three of the Nassau Weekly’s best-trained sabermetricians compiled data from Princeton Facebook in order to rank the graduating class of seniors in an objective and accurate manner according to a single metric: notoriety. This was not hard. No computer programs were required, although they might have helped. All the team had to do was log in to facebook.princeton.edu, run an Advanced Search for the class of 2009, and copy one piece of information from each of the 1,198 profiles: Profile Views.

by on

Unrequited Love: Full Design

This week, the Nass investigates the future of art, probes at prosopagnosia, and contemplates a cure for heartsickness.

by on

The Septumber Issue: Full Design

In the first issue of the semester, the Nass investigates sectoral bargaining, keeps a promise to a demon, and travels into the heart of Ireland’s magic.

by on

Newman’s Day D-Ball

We here at the Nass have more experience with our own balls than the kind you play sports with (sometimes the fine line between intellectual masturbation and actual masturbation sort of disappears).

by on

Chévere cambur

“I wondered at the sapphire waters / But the hunger scraped my hallow cheeks”

by on

All-American Girl

At the beginning of the week, tickets were still available for comedienne Margaret Cho’s April 22 performance at Dillon Gym.

by on

Mercer County, Here We Come

We tune in, week after week, eagerly waiting for a glimpse into the world that is The O.C. Some of us have enthusiastically handed over the Wednesday 9 p.m. time slot, foregoing The Bachelor for this fresher prime time guilty pleasure.

by on