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The Nass 100
1. The Daily Princetonian (so true though) 2. Your claim that there is a little independent coffee shop back home that is way better than Small World and way cheaper, though this is probably the case. 3. Princeton’s new login system which demands of innocent young minds textual and pictorial identification with the university’s egomaniacal…
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American Goth
The fact that I even own more than one article of lamé from American Apparel is pathetic. Wearing them all in one outfit was basically just a masturbatory statement of my “hipness.”
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The Nass 100
1. Your idea for a new campus publication 100. That night I held you and we just laughed and cried till morning
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Prince Watch
Dear Readers, This has not been a good month for The Daily Princetonian. Honestly, we almost feel bad for them. There was the PUDS fiasco, the misreporting of college council budgets, and, just this week, they ran a story with the headline, “Arab Comedians Bring Down the…” –we’ll just let that one go. And who…
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Porn for the Blind
In our modern age, technology has made it so that the visually impaired are able to partake in many of the same activities as anyone else. Text-to-speech programs, which narrate a website, make it easy to browse the web. There are even screen-readers that can “intelligently” interpret structures and frames online. But what about more…
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Mex-Emo (Get It?)
What do you get when you take a group of gangly teenagers with teased-out hair and black eyeliner? Emo kids who let out their emotions through Good Charlotte? Well, yes – but that’s not all.
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PrinceWatch, Reloaded
PrinceWatch is back! For years the Daily Princetonian has been running bizarre and often incomprehensible features on facets of campus life that are of interest only to drooling alums and university administrators who like to see their names in print. We at PrinceWatch hope to bring to light the most egregiously offensive examples of Prince…
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Week in Review
It came to (and, it should be noted, faded from) the national attention that San Diego resident John Corcoran taught high school in California for 17 years without being able to read, write, or spell. A college graduate, Corcoran’s secret illiteracy began in grade school and lasted for almost five decades. “I can remember when…
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The Bierderman Ipod Gospel
So we’ve all seen Rob Biederman’s egg-hunt email. It got us to thinking…what if the USG reconceived every important holiday? A few ideas: Ash Wednesday: You and a group of friends attend 8 a.m. mass. After applying the soot, a priest holds a mirror to each of you, intoning, “All but one have received the…
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Top 23 Ways to Kill Your Lover
We at The Nass are in the business of maintaining our cherished readership’s happiness in all walks of life, and with Valentine’s Day a recent but no less traumatic event of the past, we understand how draining (both emotionally and financially) that lover can be on you. We’re looking out for you, dear reader; we…
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The Nass Weekly’s Weekly Diet
“‘Ere we come, ‘ere we come, ‘ere we come to eat some snacks!” That’s the song you sing as you roll your way to the feeding tubes, you glutinous masses of orca-fat-fattened lard-balls! And what do you have to say for yourselves? Nothing, because your mouths are blocked up by the pendulous weight of your…
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Nassau Weekly’s Weekly Diet
Oh Gross. We accidentally just looked at you and your fatness grossed us out. Big time. Well, because we here at the Nassau Weekly are bonded together by a spirit of philanthropy and kindness, we are going to give you what you so desperately need: A brand new diet.