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Byline: Alex Jacobson

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The Rise and Fall of the Tide Pod

“The pods are designed to wash your clothing and maybe even scent them with subtle lavender, not to satisfy an uncontrollable sweet tooth or the adventurous eater in your family.”

by Alex Jacobson on February 25, 2018February 24, 2018

Just a Pain in the Ass

“Granny Annie had devoted her life to others in a manner that was awe-inspiring. Even winds upward of 100 miles per hour and torrential rain could not stymie her optimistic spirit, the hope that coursed through her family’s veins.”

by Alex Jacobson on May 6, 2018May 5, 2018

Telescoping Morning

“In the succeeding entries, we telescope our mornings by recounting and recasting. Each succeeding morning of a series is composed in exactly half the number of words of the previous. Diminish with us below.”

by Alex Jacobson, Ananya Malhotra, Carolyn Kelly, Christopher Villani, David Exumé, Katie Duggan, Miriam Friedman, Serena Alagappan, Tara Shirazi, Tess Solomon, Tianyi Wang on October 22, 2017October 22, 2017

Spoilers Ahead: Riverdale Season 2 is a Soap Opera for a Younger Audience

In this new season, Riverdale’s soapy plot and neon-lit diner is su used with violence and vigilantism.

by Alex Jacobson on December 10, 2017December 10, 2017

Le Cirque, C’est Chic

One pearly-teethed, outdoors adverse Princeton debutant examines the thrilling liberation of circus arts.

by Alex Jacobson on October 15, 2017October 14, 2017

I Lied About Having A Bar Mitzvah

You might be left psychoanalyzing this one for years to come.

by Alex Jacobson on September 30, 2018September 29, 2018

Reckoning for the Hathahaters

Interrogating how and why Hollywood women fall out of public favor.

by Alex Jacobson on April 6, 2019April 13, 2019

Home

“It wasn’t that I was self-conscious; rather, I recognized how ridiculous the scene must have looked. I was half dressed with tussled frosted tips and drooping bags under my eyes. They were fully uniformed, standing at least half a foot above me and simply staring at my unkempt figure.”

by Alex Jacobson on March 4, 2018March 4, 2018

Eugene

“I don’t think he would have been a loving father. He didn’t have it in him. I think he would have been too scared.”

by Alex Jacobson on March 10, 2019March 9, 2019

Mercury in Retrograde

“If I fit so perfectly into astrology’s puzzle, why wouldn’t everyone else?”

by Alex Jacobson on November 19, 2017November 17, 2017

Viral Voting

It’s like precept, but for campaign ads.

by Alex Jacobson on October 14, 2018October 12, 2018

Peer Review

“Since the beginning of time, editors at The Nassau Weekly have taken their pens to each other’s Common Application Essays. And yes, The Nassau Weekly has been around since the beginning of time.”

by Alex Jacobson, Caroline Castleman on April 15, 2018


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