Author: nassauweekly

Nass List: Forgive me Father, for I have…

worn my heart on my sleeve turned around so fast my butt made a clapping noise  fallen off gooned  Been a freak Matched your freak Ordered a bride on doordash Been a mail order bride Been a weirdo. I don’t … Read More

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Single and Desperate

Daring, bold 5’9″ Jewish M with extreme good looks has decided not to be daring and bold by placing an ad for a similarly attractive F, height < 5'8". Think Annie Hall for a better looking, more bold and daring Alvy Singer. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might not work.

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To Maybe Fall in Love, Try This

This isn’t an interview, but it feels like one. There are exactly 36 questions and I am stuck at the top of the list.
“It can be anyone,” he says. “Really.”

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Peer Review

__Dan edits Giri’s college app__
Page 1, Page 2, Page 3

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Technology: A Bridge Across Continents and Oceans

“I didn’t have too much faith in technology to bridge such an enormous distance gap. There was no way that crackling audio or pixelated video could rival the warmth of human presence.”

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After a Certain Number of Leagues

“You’ve said I remind you of those deep water high stress fish: cakey eyes, headlights that make sense in pitch nothing but when taken to surface explode.”

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It’s in Your Body

“Regardless of race, Americanness is still in your body. I can’t spot the distinction as well as, say, the Dominican-born jewelry vendor who could tell that my immigrant father was American. But I’ve seen some differences.”

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How to Fake it in America

This review will be biased. It will be biased for two reasons. One: there are few things in the world I would rather do than Bryan Greenberg. Two: I’m from New York. These are important biases because Greenberg plays the … Read More

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Society Girl

Are you sick of me yet? Do you think I am completely boring, snobby, and awful? Did you realize reading the Nass last week that I fit almost every one of Katie McCulloch’s douchebag criteria? Are you frustrated after going … Read More

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Where is the Clit?

Dear Sexpert, If someone rims my ass am I still a virgin? – Carnally Concerned Dear Carnally Concerned, Not in the eyes of Jesus, you aren’t. Dear Sexpert, My vibrator got lost in my birth canal when I was double … Read More

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A Better Course Guide

COM/PHI 101: Is it lit?
ENG 201: Oh it’s lit.

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Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not

Their new album, Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not, doesn’t reinvent the band’s sound; however, it does contain some of their best work. This is a natural extension of a long career, not just a cute or tired continuation of it.

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