Thesis Fairy

April 10, 2022

Terrariums, Tolstoy, and Tasty Burgers: What Our Profs Really Think About Us

The candid opinions and hot takes of Princeton faculty members.

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Thesis Fairy: Full Design

This week the Nass lives vicariously, vents to mom, and learns what professors really think of students.

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The Rains of Macondo: Relevance, Our Country Friends, and the Literature of the Pandemic

“The rain described by García Márquez seemed compellingly similar to the virus that had upended my own life and the lives of so many others: impersonal, unrelenting, and showing no sign of ending any time soon.”

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My Mother, the Dumping Ground

“I love my mother, but how is anyone supposed to respond to an endless bucket of support?”

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River House, Part 2

The continuation of a tale of fish and memory.

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highs and lows

“i swallowed your lies / and they came back up as tears”

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Bridges lab

Girl on the verge of tears: As long as the bridge you die on is pretty, it’s fine, right?

Overheard at study break

Junior thinking about JP: Life keeps happening. And I'm kinda not thrilled.

Overheard in Lockhart

Burned Out Friend: *Goes on a depressing rant*

Over-committed Verbatim fan: That's so sad, and I can't even verbatim it.

Overheard in a dorm

Romantic: The sole remaining balloon from Valentine's Day.

Optimist: And she's still flying, I'm so proud of her.

Romantic: Yea, I murdered all her sisters. I took scissors to them.

Overheard in Frist

Supportive friend: I'm glad to brighten up your day with gossip. And not just any gossip… invented gossip!

Overheard after a prank

Friend who breaks under moral pressure too easily: This is a mark on my conscience that will never leave. These lies have stained my soul.

Prank co-conspirator: … It was just an April Fools joke.

Overheard in 1901

Innocent friend: *gravely* I am the face of evil! *trips over own shoe*

Overheard at study session

Techie: Oh no, my tablet didn't charge!

Friend: Do you have a charger?

Techie: *genuine* You are a genius. I never would've thought.

Overheard in a Nass meeting

Budding philosopher: I was thinking…about how Seinfeld and Kafka were in the same century.

Overheard in the Tiger Tea Room

WASPy Man: When I came here I thought everyone wore, like, sports polos and khakis everyday. Because that's what we wore back home.

Overheard at Terrace

Social justice advocate: Single people are the most oppressed minority.

Overheard on Washington Road

Woman rolling down car window: Excuse me! How do I get to the track meet?

Terrace NARP: Sorry, you're asking the wrong people.

Other Terrace NARP, pointing at nearby students: Ask them, they're all wearing Princeton sweatshirts.

Overheard over dessert

Improv comedian anthro major: If I had a manager and accountant and publicist and personal assistant, I would be so successful.