This week the Nass learns the lingo of NBA internet fandom, reflects on terror in public transit, and explores the secret world of dorm fine dining.
Fantasy Romance novel enthusiast: I actually have another fairy porn book waiting at Frist!
Focused student: I try to always be thinking about either boobs or the Buffalo Bills.
Lonely friend 1: Why do you think I'm sad?
Lonely friend 2: (pause) Because you're not loved.
Straight male bottom: "Do you know him? He's, like, one of the 30 gay guys here, you must know him."
Witch 1: "Physical impotence was the counterpart of moral impotence." What does that mean?
Witch 2: Viagra is a moral shot to the dick.
Feminist radical: What does it matter if I'm capitalist or not in the face of period cramps.
Revolutionary: orgies are definitely anti-capitalist.
English student struggling with auto-biographical midterm project: Perhaps I should just cut my mother out.
Anthro major: Yeah, maybe I need to get back into wanting to be rich.
Girl: It’s annoying because he’s really into crypto, but he’s really bad at it.
Guy: We'll cross that bridge when we burn it.
Quant finance dude: I feel like the truest version of myself in black leather.
Driver reading a sign: Oh look, Syracuse!
Shotgun: Nope. Secaucus.
Scholar: You know the fool uses to be a bad card because it represented poverty and the fool was a peasant–
Woke friend: And then they realized that's classist?
Girl, incredulous: You think I would have raw sex with someone whose last name I don’t know?!