Overheard on iMessage

Gay freshman: it doesn’t matter… nothing counts when you’re blacked.
For example, if u don’t remember eating a bunch of fries then u can’t hate yourself because u don’t remember. It’s like whatever—I did it. It happened. I think of it like an alibi for the criminally insane… u can’t be held accountable for something u can’t control, right?
Also did you find your glasses?