Math Professor: “It’s like you’re gonna have to go super Saiyan to visualize this…like level 17000 Saiyan…deep neural networks Saiyan…I’m just Saiyan.”
SLA Professor: “No, you need to understand the reason I hate Ivan so much is because he reminds me the most of me.”
Clumsy junior: “Through a series of Rube Goldberg-esque events, I have flushed my entire wallet down a toilet.”
Poetry Professor: “There are homeless people in this song. It's a very physical eroticism.”
Guy asking me to invest $600: “Cryptocurrency is the future!”
Me: “I just feel like it is made up.”
Same guy: “Money is made up by the government!”
Blondest guy ever: “I like the Nass. It’s like, in between a newspaper and a magazine.”
Sleep-deprived senior with misplaced priorities: “I haven't started my thesis yet, but I've ranked every bathroom on campus by pee-ability.”
Student talking to another student of the class of 2024: “It looks like your hair has depopulated on your head since the last time I saw you.”
Student after a night at Terrace: “It was annoying talking to him, so I hooked up with him instead.”
Passenger: “You know, you just can’t avoid meeting architects at Princeton…and there aren’t any good ones.”
Freshman who needs to stop saying shit like this: “I feel like I'm the golden retriever of this friendship.”
Nassling: “I wish guys had urologists like girls had gynecologists. I want a more specific doctor to look at my junk.”
Anxious Professor:” This is good to know if you ever have a demonic encounter.”
Attention Historian: "I've just learned that there's a class-action lawsuit against Film at Lincoln Center."
(spills full bottle of Diet Coke all over table)
Someone who hates acapella renditions of Imagine: “Gal Gadot is a girl chud.”
Diagrammatic diva: "We made a deal that when fascism takes hold, we're going to start vaping again."
Misinformed Historian: I hate the Irish. I'll never forgive the Irish for starting the potato famine.