Overheard in English Precept.

The argument-stretcher: The rectum is a grave.

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Overheard at Terrace.

A straight girl trying to make a GBF: He gives like Troye Sivan factory defect.

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Overheard on Nassau Street.

Some grandma: Armie Hammer would love that

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Overheard near WPRB studio.

DJ: I feel like I’ve become my parents' problem child.

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Overheard in Firestone

Your fellow student: I wanna suck a dick.

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Overheard in Small World

Someone who is so real for that: Last semester I hit this ground running. This semester I just hit the ground.

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Overheard at Ivy formals.

Sophomore: This salad is grossly underdressed.

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Overheard in Roma

First person: Why did you cut up all your food before eating it?

Second person: Mild autism.

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Overheard at My Grandparents’

Surprised by His Son's Tendency to Have Eggs for Breakfast: Oh, so Paul's an egg maven now?

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Overheard in McCosh Hall Basement.

SPIA student: I think my preceptor is a pervert based on absolutely no evidence or reason.

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Overheard in the new Frist Health Center.

Freshman: Should I start meditating or get a klonopin prescription?

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Overheard in London

Child at heart: I have to apply for something to prolong this youthfulness.

Realist: You mean a fellowship?

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Overheard while window-shopping

Yearner: By acquiring something, I experience the loss. A loss by acquisition.

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Overheard under the smoking tree

Reads too much Camus: I have the urge to say something philosophical.

Naturally curious individual: Say it.

Reads too much Camus: I don't know what…I just have the urge.

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Overheard in an SLA class

Russian professor: Camus is a poor man’s Dostoevsky.

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Overheard outside the Nass room

Someone: Why do you look so dark woke

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Overheard at Small World

Poet with shoulder-length hair: Getting old and gray and the gray matter is turning into cotton candy or sometimes steel wool, but neither one is what it's supposed to be.

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Overheard in the kitchen

Looking for an internship: It’s like I’m cooking, but it’s burning at the same time…

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Overheard outside Firestone

English Senior; Famous Poet: Sometimes I wish I smoked. It would give me an excuse to go outside.

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Overheard at Quad

Two people, discussing how they keep warm when going out: I let the alcohol keep me warm on the way there, and take a jacket on the way back.

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Overheard at Wawa

A young boy: I can drink 2 redbulls and not feel anything.

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Overheard in RoMa

BSE student: My grandma is a Stalinist.

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Overheard at the gym

Recruit who dropped their sport: Can I work in?

Regular student: Work in Stone? Frist? Campus Club? Work in where?

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Overheard in Terrace

Thinks in emotions: I don’t know if we’re dating or anything…

Thinks in numbers: The amount of square footage you’ve covered does not say friendship.

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Overheard in Campus Club

Dietetic dialectical diatribist: I don’t think a vegan framework gets us most directly to what I want to see in our society. On the list of big picture issues, it is NOT making the top five…

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