Grad student: “You know how after you eat Dominos you wake up in the middle of the night with meat sweats?” A confused me: “No? Keep that to yourself.”

Public servant: “I like your multi-drug stuff… it feels like home, with Mexicans abusing things all around me.”

A prude: “I can be promiscuous too but at some point there is a line that is crossed that I didn’t even know existed!”

SLA professor: “Though I want to be entirely clear: just because you have back problems does not mean you are demonic.”

Goof: “There’s no content warning needed for these photos. I mean, they are representations of war, so.”

Boy from Connecticut: “The worst thing that could happen to me if I was reincarnated would be to be reincarnated as a poor person.”

Self-proclaimed “girl’s girl”: Ugly people have to exist for there to be pretty people.

Walker: I think that I’m like, lowkey a Sisyphus kinnie.

Cooking: Ooh, I like the hum of the pepper! Do you think some coconut milk might help contextualize it? Cooked: This is really beyond me, I must say.

Some guy: I took her to a ramen place because she’s Wasian

Disappointed advice-seeker, flipping through the Torah: Oh. It’s not about love, it’s just about Lebanon.

Tired History major: I made up trans in Wuhan, that’s where they invented it.