Supportive friend: She doesn’t need a mallet, she needs a mullet!
Mullet-reluctant woman: I don’t know if I want a mullet.
Supportive friend: It’s not about what you WANT, it’s about what you NEED.
Overheard during Sunday morning brunch
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Am I The Asshole?
AITA for wanting my roommates to recycle? By u/trashtalker This last summer I (20M) was living in Chicago with some randomly assigned roommates. They turned out to be chill. One was a foster kid, one was a wealthy Manhattanite, and another had a blonde mustache. The only issue I had was that they did not…
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Daily Horoscope #758
Your fate is sealed, as the planets wrote your story by the stars and universes that predate you. So, go on. Enjoy the feast of your destiny. Let the winds guide you home. Listen, for the following will detail your horoscope on the day you read this. Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th) …
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What’s the Skinny on Brandy HELLville?
Ever heard of the four horsemen of the apocalypse? Well Brandy Melville in Princeton’s historic Palmer Square has just been visited by something even stranger. A mysterious, pope-like figure appeared to float in the popular teen clothing store. When approached for comment, he claimed to be a reincarnation of Asahara Shoko of the Aum Shinrikyo…
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Shit in my blood
i was thinking about what’s in my blood and it’s mostly genetic stuff but also a wasteland if you’ve read T.S. Eliot so if you’re curious here’s not all just some of the shit in my blood: 55% plasma, mostly water carrying salt & proteins, tranquil medium that shapes time and space, the osmotic…
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Passenger Announcement in Progress
A soft chime. The PA system exhales with a crackle before speaking. Good evening, passengers, and welcome aboard Flight QTR955. Please ensure your seatbelt is securely fastened. Stow all carry-on memories beneath the seat or within overhead compartments. Pack lightly — heavy luggage may slow ascent. As we prepare for takeoff, take one last look…
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Moon, where are you?
On my birthday there was supposed to be a full moon and I’m sure there was under the clouds but I got out of bed to see it and couldn’t find it. I looked up on google where the moon was supposed to be (southwest) and looked there but all I saw were gray murky…
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Jazz
We are in assembly. Voices intermingle with deep jazz that drips from speakers stationed all around the house. Something beneath my sternum vibrates silently. The lights are colder than I know you’d prefer. But I’ve got candles at home, with molten wax that oozes down far beyond the little sphere of gleaming honeycomb. We…
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Frog World
“Now, imagine you are a frog and you know that all your frog flesh and frog blood is shared with your frog brothers. What kind of frog would you be?”
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Three Years in the Shadow of Gaza
The Maher family escaped death, but what does it mean to rebuild what they’ve lost?
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