Readers Divest

April 15, 2017


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Overheard at Terrace

Aggrieved musician: His excuse that this is for charity is such neoliberal bullshit.

Overheard at TI

Junior woman, to large man: Come sit with us! We need a male gaze. We miss it when it’s not there.

Overheard at Terrace

Art history major: I’m worried my thesis is coming off as anti-Swedish.

Overheard at networking session

Ivy junior: I’m too chic for sandals were custom-made in Saint Tropez.

Overheard in Pyne

Chi Phi senior: I’m just not sure I’m so interested in what academics have to say.

Overheard at Terrace

Radical feminist: It’s easier to have sex for money than it is to have sex for free.
Man: That’s why I’m a capitalist.

Overheard at Ivy

Valley Girl, on thesis: Honestly the msot stressful part was figuring out what I was going to wear for these pictures.

Overheard in Wu

Frustrated gay: The problem with Princeton is that it’s the only place where pastel-colored clothes tell you nothing about a man’s sexuality.

Overheard on Nassau

Earnest frosh: My roommate had an orgy on the sailing trip. Well, he didn’t really have an orgy—he just subbed in for someone else.

Overheard in GSS seminar

Professor, discussing Simone de Beauvoir’s theory of pregnancy: Now, what does this sound like? There is something that is me, but is other than me, that is possessed by me, but also possesses me...
Male student: A penis?
Professor: I was thinking more along the lines of Hegelian self-consciousness.

Overheard in Mathey

Female student, on going to the Upper East Side: At that point I was like, wait, I’ve seen more perfectly groomed dogs here than people of color.

Overheard in the Architecture Building

Profoundly enlightened SWUG taking Hustles and Hustlers: I feel like I understand the world now.

Overheard at a Japanese ramen restaurant

Sake virgin, taking sake as a shot: Am I an alcoholic or does this taste like flavored water?

Overheard in McCosh Hall

Ivy Soph: Oh I think I got an internship at McKinsey. I forgot about that.